Supporting Families in Person with Spenser Lipton

 

Spenser is a certified pediatric sleep consultant and mom of two little boys. For the past ten years, she has worked in the luxury events and fashion space. When her first son was born, she became obsessed with sleep training! Excited to share what she learned, she began casually consulting friends and family. After successfully sleep training her second son, she decided to go all-in and get certified through Center for Pediatric Sleep Management so she could help as many families as possible. Spenser launched her business, My Sleep Friend, in September of 2023 and hasn’t looked back!

 

 

Links:

Website: My Sleep Friend
Instagram: @mysleepfriend

 

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Transcript: 

Intro: Welcome to Becoming a Sleep Consultant! I’m your host Jayne Havens, a certified sleep consultant and founder of both Snooze Fest by Jayne Havens and Center for Pediatric Sleep Management.

On this podcast, I’ll be discussing the business side of sleep consulting. You’ll have an insider’s view on launching, growing, and even scaling a sleep consulting business. This is not a podcast about sleep training. This is a podcast about business building and entrepreneurship.

Spenser is a certified pediatric sleep consultant and mom of two little boys. For the past ten years, she has worked in the luxury events and fashion space. When her son was born, she became obsessed with sleep training. Excited to share what she learned, she began casually consulting friends and family. After successfully sleep training her second son, she decided to go all-in and get certified through Center for Pediatric Sleep Management so she could help as many families as possible. Spenser launched her business, My Sleep Friend, in September of 2023 and hasn’t looked back.

Jayne Havens: Welcome back to the Becoming a Sleep Consultant Podcast. I’m so excited to have this conversation with you today.

Spenser Lipton: I’m so excited to be back. Thanks so much for asking me.

Jayne Havens: So I don’t want to be too redundant, because you were already on the podcast a few months back. But for those who are new listeners, or maybe for those who didn’t catch your first interview, would you mind giving us a little rundown of your story? Share a little bit about yourself, what you do professionally, and why you decided to get certified to work as a sleep consultant.

Spenser Lipton: Of course. So I have been a sleep consultant for the last year. Prior to this, I was pretty much strictly in the luxury events — actually, in the floral business currently — managing mostly luxury contract clients, which has been great.

But when I became a mom in 2021, I was obsessed with sleep training my first son, Luke. And then when I had my second son in 2023, I sleep trained him as well. And I was really good at it. All my friends would ask me for help. And it just kind of clicked, you know, through my mother-in-law, my husband, saying, “You’re really good at this. Maybe you should do this for real.” I was like, that makes total sense. I’ve always been very entrepreneurial. So I found you and your program, and here we are.

Jayne Havens: The rest is history.

Spenser Lipton: I’ve been loving it. It’s been the best year. I have finally found something that I love to do so much.

Jayne Havens: So your business took a little bit of an unsuspecting turn. I wanted to have you on the podcast today, specifically to discuss supporting families in person. Center for Pediatric Sleep Management specifically teaches the virtual model of this business. But, of course, anything that you learn inside of the course can be applied to in-home support, which is what you have started doing. I would love for you to share a little bit about why you decided to dabble in in-person sleep training.

Spenser Lipton: Yeah, so I think it was my first time. It was last spring. Someone posted that they were looking for someone in New York. They didn’t have many connections. It was an agency. So I reached out to them, and it was a great fit with this family.

They lived locally. They were basically looking for someone who could help them get through a few tough nights, so they could take it from there. I had never really thought that it was something that or, really, I wasn’t sure if it was something I wanted to do. But I thought it would really round out my experience and just be a really good learning opportunity. So I went for it, and I loved it. It was really great to connect with my clients in person. I got to see the value of what we do up front, and so now it’s just a part of my business model.

Jayne Havens: I love it. How are you juggling supporting families in person with your full-time day job? Are you only supporting families in person on the weekends, or are you getting enough sleep at your in-person jobs that you’re still able to go to work the next day? What does that look like?

Spenser Lipton: I think it’s just because maybe I’m crazy or maybe just because moms just, you know, we just add on. Women just add on to their plates, and they make it work if it’s something we want to do badly enough.

So when a client approaches me with this request, I basically — the first thing I do is I go back to my husband and I’m like, “All right. What are the next couple of weeks look like? Can you handle nights and mornings, so I can do this? What is my work schedule, my full-time work schedule? What do my current clients for the virtual sleep consulting look like?” I basically see if it works for me in the moment with what I have going on. And I just basically stay awake for three days straight and nap a little bit here and there. And it’s worked. It’s not perfect, but I really like doing it. And so I find a way to make it happen.

Jayne Havens: Talk to me about some of the key differences between working with a family virtually and working with a family in person.

Spenser Lipton: Yeah, that’s a great one. So, of course, virtual, I mean, that’s what I do mostly. And it’s definitely, of course, where I like learned everything and where my comfort level was at. I would say the main difference is that, one, you’re stepping outside of your comfort zone a little bit. You’re going into someone’s home, which is unusual and definitely took some getting used to. But you see what you’re doing so much more intimately and so close with your clients. You really see how they respond in real time or how they want to respond. Then helping them actually correct that in person is so interesting.

Because when I’m working virtually with a client, I just know what they’re telling me if they choose to send me a video of what their baby sounds like crying on the monitor or not, if they’re saying their baby is heavy crying for 10 minutes. But if they’re not sharing that, I don’t really know. So in person, I can hear and be like, “You don’t have to go in. They’re trying to fall asleep. Let’s give them some space.” Then, you know, 20 minutes later, the baby is asleep and they just can’t believe it.

And it’s really amazing to watch from beginning to end in person and watching that realization happen too. Because the texts are amazing, of course, when you hear someone like, “Oh, my god. I can’t believe this worked. Why didn’t I contact you sooner?” But when you see that light bulb go off in person, it’s very rewarding.

Jayne Havens: What’s your process for supporting families in person? Are you writing them a written plan? Do you give them a choice for what sleep training method will be used, or are you sort of going in and saying, “We’re going to do it my way. I’m here, and this is what it’s going to look like”?

Spenser Lipton: Yeah, I would say I’m definitely more strict about what approaches we take when I go in person, because it’s a limited time that I’m with clients. They’re spending a lot of money, and I want them to see success up front. Usually, when they call me for this kind of service, they’re desperate, and they want to see quick progress. And the best way for me to do that is to do check and consult with them, and we see progress almost immediately. And that’s what they want.

So I usually don’t stay with a family for more than three nights, and I could even do less if they wanted. But I like to do three nights and then we do two weeks follow-up virtual. I do send a sleep plan, which we review in advance. So I would go to their house before initial bedtime. We review the sleep plan together and then do bedtime together. Then we go through the process of baby falling asleep, and we talk about what the middle of the night is going to look like when I’m on duty, what to do the following day once they wake up and I’m not with them. Then I’m back with them the following night, and we do it all over again.

Jayne Havens: And are you doing the middle of the nights with or without the parents?

Spenser Lipton: I typically have done it without parents. It’s been a bit different. Sometimes the parents want to sleep, and that’s why I’m there. And sometimes it almost feels like I’m like a postpartum doula, even though I’m not a trained doula or like a baby nurse.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, you’re like an emotional support person for them.

Spenser Lipton: Exactly. I’ve had a client who wanted someone, basically, to sleep there and watch the monitor. Because they were so exhausted that they had not slept in four months. And so they were like, “I keep going in. My baby keeps crying. I know I’m not responding the right way, so I want you to do it. And you can show me that he can do this on his own.” That’s what I did. I basically took over at night. Mom and dad slept in the basement.

In the morning, they saw that I didn’t have to go in there once overnight, just giving them that little bit of space that they weren’t able to do just because they responded so quickly to their crying, it’s just like such a game changer for them. So I stayed for two more nights, but I did not go in there once overnight.

Jayne Havens: What are some of the unique challenges when working inside of a family’s home?

Spenser Lipton: I think, for me, it was mostly personal in the beginning, because it was so strange staying in someone else’s house that’s a complete stranger. So that was just like taking some getting used to. But I think the benefits outweigh it so much more for me. Because, like I said before, I get to see the value of what we do in real time and in person. Then you’re also helping a cute baby. So that’s really nice, too.

Jayne Havens: Talk to me about the logistics of it all. Do you have a separate questionnaire for this side of your business? I’m wondering, like, what do you pack? Like, what’s in your overnight bag? What does that all look like?

Spenser Lipton: That’s so funny. The first time I did this, I was like, I don’t know what to bring. This seems so strange. I packed a lot of snacks because I was like, I feel like I’m going to be hungry. That’s just my personality. I get food anxiety. So I was like, I’m going to bring a bunch of snacks. I brought regular overnight stuff as if I was going to a sleepover party, but I wasn’t really sleeping. I brought appropriate pajamas, because my clients would probably be seeing me in my pajamas. And, yeah, that’s pretty much it.

In terms of questionnaire, it’s pretty much the same. We just have a deeper dive in person to review it together and review the plan together than I would with a virtual client just because, being face to face, I feel like I can get more out of them from them.

Jayne Havens: Do you require a certain sleep environment? Do you want to have a bed to lie down on? Are you sleeping while the baby sleeps? Are you providing a weight care? Sorry, so many questions. I’m so curious.

Spenser Lipton: No, no. I have had a couple different setups. So I’ve had a guest room, which is the most ideal. I can just kind of be in there and doing my thing. And so I just end up working while the baby is settling so I can watch the baby. When the baby does sleep, I do try and sleep. I’ve also slept on a couch before.

My ideal situation, of course, is to have some space, mostly, so that the parents can go about what they want to do, and they don’t feel awkward around me. They also won’t feel like they’re hovering. Because one of the main goals of this for me is to allow the parents to have some space. Because they’re making this investment. And if they have me there, they might as well utilize me to help their baby overnight. So I want them to go about their business, have their own time. So if I am in my own little tucked away area, that’s best for both of us.

Jayne Havens: You mentioned investment. Are you comfortable sharing how much you charge for this service?

Spenser Lipton: Yeah, of course. So it is quite an investment. It is $120 an hour. And I do a 12-hour minimum, because I usually start at bedtime and then stay till morning. And with babies, it’s at least 12 hours. Sometimes I’m there 14 hours and then we do my virtual plan following. So it’s an investment.

But, as we know, tired parents are willing to pay a lot when they need the support. I just had to market at a place where I felt comfortable being away from my own family too. Because it’s really hard on my family’s logistics, that my husband has to take over for more than we’re used to when we usually share the responsibility. So I had to make sure it was worth it for me. And it turns out that people are willing to pay for it, which is great.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, I agree with you. It has to be worth your while. This is your business. And of course, we’re in it to help moms and help families. But this is time away from your family, and you’re not getting the sleep that you’re typically getting at home. So, that’s huge, and I think you have to charge for it.

Spenser Lipton: Absolutely. And you helped me so much with that. Because I was so unsure in the beginning what to do. I just put a number on it that felt right, and it seems to be working.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, yeah. And you can inch it up as you see fit. I think, as you said, when parents are tired, they’re going to make the choice that’s going to get them the results that they’re looking for. Some parents really do crave that in-person support, which makes me think I wanted to ask you. I’m glad this is sort of where our conversation is headed. I’m wondering if you think in-person support is more or less effective than virtual support. Because I sort of have mixed feelings about this.

Spenser Lipton: I think it’s so client-dependent. Because if the client is there for you to do all the work, and then you leave, then that’s why I try and tend to have them sign up for this virtual plan after. Because I don’t want three days later for them to be like, it’s a disaster now.

Jayne Havens: Came undone, yeah.

Spenser Lipton: Exactly. And it’s like you have to — this isn’t a magic fix. Of course, you can see quick results. But it takes work. And babies and children, they’re not robots. You have to be consistent with them. So I think it really depends on the client. If it’s someone who’s like expecting to then be hands off, their baby is never going to cry again, it’s not going to work. And having more extended virtual support with them is better. But if it’s a client who is like just genuinely doesn’t know where to start, they’re so exhausted and they would crave that ally and partner, and they need that connection that I provide in person, then it’s great. But it’s really about the follow through.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, I think that’s right. I get asked, not regularly. But from time to time, I get asked if I do in-person sleep training. You’re the first person that’s ever made me feel like maybe I should try and dabble in it. But I don’t do it, partially because I’m not a candidate for being up all night. It’s just, I’m not cut out for it. But I also have always questioned whether or not, like, if I go in and do the work for the parents, I’ve questioned, like, once I leave, are they going to follow through and continue with, I mean, really, what it is, is we’re holding a boundary with our children. Right?

I can come in and hold a boundary with your child. But then if I leave, are you going to hold that same boundary? I do think that there’s an important component to all of this where we teach the parents how to understand their child’s communication. Because not all crying is created equal, right? So I do think that if sleep consultants are going to go in and do the work for the parents, I do think that there’s some responsibility that has to be placed on the parents to take ownership of understanding what their baby or child is saying in those moments of frustration, so that they can learn how to respond or sit on their hands depending on what they hear.

Spenser Lipton: 100%. I’ve had experiences where I think after you leave and you put in all the hard work and they spend all the money, where it does come undone a little bit. And I have had to remind them, “This is what we did together. This is what you saw with me when we did it together. You saw how successful it was. Let’s continue with that, and you will see that again.” So it’s providing still that coaching and that accountability after. That is, I think, super key.

Jayne Havens: Have all of your in-person sleep consulting clients been with infants, or have you done any toddler, preschooler in-person work?

Spenser Lipton: Yeah, they’ve all been infants. I think toddlers and older children, I think they’d be terrified of me. I don’t think I’m a scary person. But any stranger coming into your home to do something, that’s scary to them. And it’s only scary, of course, because it’s new. I don’t think they would be very excited about it. I would absolutely go in to help coach the parents, but they would have to be way more hands on than if I was doing it with an infant. The infant, they smile up at you no matter what. A toddler is not smiling at me.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, I agree with that. And I think maybe that’s where I’m working mostly now, with kids three and up. Parents ask me all the time, “Can you come get my kid to stay in bed?” It’s like, yeah, he’ll stay in bed if I tell him to. But the second I leave, he’s not going to listen to you, right?

Spenser Lipton: Yeah.

Jayne Havens: So I think that it’s, I think, more appropriate to do the in-person work with little babies than it is with older kids.

Spenser Lipton: For sure. I totally agree.

Jayne Havens: Do you have any tips or words of wisdom for other sleep consultants who are considering offering in-person support? I’m wondering, like, what do you know now that you wish you knew on that very first case?

Spenser Lipton: I was scared of what to expect. Because also, like you, I did not think I could handle the sleepless nights. Because I love sleep, which, of course, we do as sleep consultant. But it was great, and it was so rewarding. So I would just encourage anyone. If you’re thinking about it, try it. Because we have all the skills that we’ve helped so many families with virtually, it’s so transferable. It’s just showing up with confidence and positivity.

Once we do that with our clients, they feel it too. So we lead with that, and they see it in person. It’s really powerful. So I would just say, go for it. And if you like it, great. Keep going. Because it’s a really great opportunity to make a lot of money and help a lot of people.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, that’s great. Do you want to share your website and any social media channels before we wrap up?

Spenser Lipton: Sure. So my business name is My Sleep Friend. You could find me at mysleepfriend.co. My Instagram is @mysleepfriend.

Jayne Havens: Thank you, Spenser. You are so inspiring, and I’m just so proud of the business that you’ve built. This is only the beginning for you.

Spenser Lipton: Thanks so much, Jayne. I owe so much to you, and I appreciate you having me here today.

Outro: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Becoming a Sleep Consultant Podcast. If you enjoyed today’s episode, it would mean so much to me if you would rate, review, and subscribe. When you rate, review, and subscribe, this helps the podcast reach a greater audience. I am so grateful for your support.

If you would like to learn more about how you can become a certified sleep consultant, head over to my Facebook Group, Becoming a Sleep Consultant or to my website thecpsm.com. Thanks so much, and I hope you will tune in for the next episode.