One Year in Business and Niching Down with Ruth Marquez

 

Ruth’s passion for sleep began when she discovered the profound impact healthy sleep habits can have on our lives. As an adult, she recognized the toll that sleep deprivation takes on our well-being, which led her to wonder about its effects on young children. After working in childcare for over 16 years, and with the support of her husband, Ruth decided to shift careers, leave her 9-to-5 job, and pursue certification through Center for Pediatric Sleep Management (CPSM).

In her new role, Ruth identified a significant gap in the support available to parents struggling with toddler sleep issues, leading her to develop the Bedtime Battles Fix program, which has already helped more than 35 families transform their toddlers sleep patterns. Through a confidence-based approach, Ruth empowers parents to regain control of bedtime struggles and find sustainable, restful sleep solutions for their children.

With her expertise and unwavering commitment to supporting families, Ruth is on a mission to restore hope for toddler families and teach them a fresh, effective approach to sleep training.

 

 

Links:

Website: Paradoxzzz Sleep
Instagram: @paradoxzzzsleep

 

If you would like to learn more about the Becoming a Sleep Consultant, please join our free Facebook Group or check out our CPSM Website.

Book a free discovery call to learn how you can become a Certified Sleep Consultant here.

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Transcript: 

Intro: Welcome to Becoming a Sleep Consultant! I’m your host Jayne Havens, a certified sleep consultant and founder of both Snooze Fest by Jayne Havens and Center for Pediatric Sleep Management.

On this podcast, I’ll be discussing the business side of sleep consulting. You’ll have an insider’s view on launching, growing, and even scaling a sleep consulting business. This is not a podcast about sleep training. This is a podcast about business building and entrepreneurship.

Ruth’s passion for sleep began when she discovered the profound impact healthy sleep habits can have on our lives. As an adult, she recognized the toll that sleep deprivation takes on our well-being, which led her to wonder about its effects on young children. After working in childcare for over 16 years, and with the support of her husband, Ruth decided to shift careers, leave her 9-to-5 job, and pursue certification through Center for Pediatric Sleep Management (CPSM).

In her new role, Ruth identified a significant gap in the support available to parents struggling with toddler sleep issues, leading her to develop the Bedtime Battles Fix Program, which has already helped more than 35 families transform their toddlers’ sleep patterns. Through a confidence-based approach, Ruth empowers parents to regain control of bedtime struggles and find sustainable, restful sleep solutions for their children. With her expertise and unwavering commitment to supporting families, Ruth is on a mission to restore hope for toddler families and teach them a fresh, effective approach to sleep training.

Jayne Havens: Ruth, welcome back to the Becoming a Sleep Consultant Podcast. I always love having these conversations with you.

Ruth Marquez: Hi, Jayne, I am so, so happy to be back.

Jayne Havens: So for those who didn’t listen to your first episode, do us a favor. Give us a rundown. Tell us a little bit about you and why you decided to get into the field of sleep consulting.

Ruth Marquez: Yeah, so like I mentioned in the previous podcast, I found you through a very quick search on Spotify. I went through your podcast, I think, in a week. Like you were all I was listening to. I was making my husband listen to you on the road when we would go on trips. And that really drew me into your course. We got on a call, and I was just in love with the program.

But rewinding a little bit, I’ve worked with children for like the past 15 years. So I do have that background. I’ve worked with a lot of mentors around me. I heard of sleep consulting one day through like a job interview and the mom I was interviewing with was like, “This is not working. The sleep consultant we worked with suggested XYZ solutions. It’s not working.” I’m like, well, this is easy. You could try such and such thing. She’s like, “Okay. let me see how it goes. I will let you know about the job.”

Long story short, she called me. She’s like, “Oh, my gosh. My kid is sleeping now. Can we hire you full time?” I’m like, I don’t know. Because, at the time, COVID was hitting. I was like, I don’t see myself working out of my house. At some point, I want to have kids. This is just not feasible for me. My husband has his own business. So I was like, I want something of my own too. He was encouraging me as well. He’s like, “Do something that’s yours. Work on a project, you know. You have so much to give.” So shout out to him.

And here we are. I found you. I found the course. It took me a little bit to get done with it, but I got done with the course. And here I am. I loved this journey. I wish I would have had Jayne come to my school, an elementary school, to teach me about sleep consulting. Because it would have saved so many years of trying to navigate and find what career to do.

Jayne Havens: So you have been in business a little bit over a year at this point. I’d love to hear you talk a little bit about maybe what it looked like in the beginning, in the first few months, and what it looks like now. Because I know for a lot of people listening, whether they be sleep consultants who are just starting to navigate how to grow a business or maybe people who are thinking about jumping into this career, everybody has the question of like, “How am I going to make this work for me?” So I’d love to hear a little bit about what your journey looked like and how you made it work for you.

Ruth Marquez: Yeah, so I’ve been in business for over a year now, as you mentioned. I’m going to be honest. It was hard. I feel like a lot of people get into this and they’re like, “I’m going to get my client. I’m going to get money coming in.” And let’s be honest. Nothing in life comes like that, you know. If we go into business with the mindset, “I either make this in a month or two, otherwise I’m out,” you’re not going to make it. The most successful people in life really put in the hard work. Whether it takes a year or more, you’re going to keep hustling doing the hard work no matter what comes your way.

So I was one of those. It took me quite a few months. I got my first two, three clients within that two-month mark. But after that, I was hearing crickets. That’s where I leaned into my support system. I got a lot of input from my husband. He’s like, “Okay. Well, you want to be an entrepreneur? You’re going to have to learn a little bit more about it. That’s okay.” So I learned a little bit. Well, a lot. I went online, really trying to learn a little bit about creating offers, talking to people, sales calls.

I am so appreciative of that time. Because that time really taught me, no matter what I’m feeling, no matter what is going through me on a day today, I need to really separate what I feel from what needs to happen, you know. Emotions come and go. They’re momentary, but you really need to put aside what you feel and just keep pushing that, okay, if I don’t get a client today, I just got to keep going.

I rebranded my whole offer, rebranded my business. I realized I’m not getting any joy from working with babies, you know. I’m just wasting a lot of time there. I rebranded. I decided to become a toddler and big kid sleep expert, rebranded my offer. I started using a method that I created. In little than three, four months, I signed on about 30 something clients, which is mind blowing for me. I just got goosebumps saying that. But it’s just been mind blowing how when you really plant those seeds, they really do get fruit. And if you really do put in that hard work, it does pay off over time. You really do need to keep pushing.

Jayne Havens: The two things that I heard you touch on that I think I want to dig into a little bit deeper are, number one, the mindset piece — which I think is the missing piece of the puzzle for a lot of people — and then the other thing is aligning your business with your true strengths and your passion. Right?

Let’s talk about the mindset piece first. I notice within our student community, sometimes I see a lot of new sleep consultants spending a lot of time thinking about their business and worrying about their business but not actually taking action in their business. Is that something that you were experiencing in the beginning yourself? Did you struggle with that where you were sort of swirling around in your brain a lot but not actually putting things into action?

Ruth Marquez: Yeah, you really hit that spot on. Yeah, I was comparing myself to other people, trying to mimic my verbiage, how other people were doing it. I was like trying to do everything on my website similar to other sleep consultants. I was just copying and pasting my offer. That’s when I realized. I was like, I need to be my own person. If I don’t really put out something that’s my own, I’m not going to get full enjoyment from this. That’s when I realized I don’t really like working with babies. I thought at first, “Is that bad?” And over time, I realized, no, that’s not bad. Because maybe I can refer out that client, that potential client, to someone that might take on that particular case with much more dedication versus me. I just wasn’t enjoying it anymore.

So, that said, there was a lot of comparison. There was a lot of just sitting around, like, how can I do this, and not really taking much action. That’s when I realized I need to do a lot of connections. I need to get on some calls. I need to create conversations. Even if it doesn’t lead to a client, maybe that person can refer me out. I was doing a little of everything every single day. Over time, it all paid off it. So it’s just amazing.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, I love that for you. And the second piece of it is really aligning your passion with your business, right? You figured out your ideal client, who you wanted to be serving, the type of work that you wanted to be doing. And even if that looks really different than what most sleep consultants are doing, that’s what’s working for you. Clearly, everybody who’s listening to this is just listening to our voices. But I saw your face light up when you started to talk about toddlers, because that’s really what themes to fuel your fire, right?

Ruth Marquez: Yes, I love working with this age group. I think I told you, when we were talking together the other day, I get a huge dopamine hit when I help toddlers. It’s amazing. I love it. Going into doing things differently from other consultants, I realized, I said, I don’t want to wait 13 days to get a parent out of the room. I decided I’m going to throw out the chair method. Nothing wrong if you want to use it by all means, but I just decided it’s just not a good fit for me. I know I can get this done faster. I have. I started my package out of three weeks.

Now I’m getting this done in less than two weeks. I do still have my package at that two-week mark. But I’ve seen time and time again that I’m able to get this done much sooner, much faster. Those extra days are just to make sure we need to tweak around any things here and there. But it’s been amazing. I just, I love what I do now. I have so much enjoyment from it.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, I know, I can see it in your face. I can hear it in the way that you’re communicating. I also think the other piece of the puzzle, and maybe this just comes with time and experience, is confidence. You know, I hear you speaking about the way that you support families very differently now than what you sounded like a year ago, you know? You are in a place where you know that when you get hired a family, that you’re going to be able to lead them to the finish line. You’re confident in that.

I think, to some degree, our perspective clients can sense that, right? Like you get on to a discovery call, and the way that you communicate your process and your value and your offer is probably super clarifying to them. There’s no misunderstanding about what it’s going to look like and the result that you’re going to get for them. And I bet that that’s ultimately what’s leading to your success on some level. Would you agree?

Ruth Marquez: Oh, yeah, 100%. I was actually telling my husband this the other day. I told him like, this has to be — when I get on a call with a potential client, this needs to be a good fit from a two-way thing. In the beginning, I was just like, “I just need to take anyone on.” I need money, you know. But now it is, I do have like an application process that they need to go through. And I speak with full confidence to them. “Listen, I need XYZ things from you guys. If I can’t get that, then we’re not a good fit for each other.”

A lot of parents actually come my way. I’d say 80%, 90 % of my clients have come my way because they’re like either, “We’ve tried the chair method and it didn’t go well,” or, “We want something faster than the chair method, and we heard you’re the girl to get us there.” And I was like, I am. It’s been such a huge game changer because now I can just state my pricing. It doesn’t feel like I’m on a job interview where I need to convince them. It’s like, “I’m the solution. If you don’t see it, then you’re not the right fit for me. If you don’t see the value in my work, then I don’t want to work with you.” Simple as that.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, I think that that’s a really great place to be mentally and emotionally. I also feel very strongly at this point in my business that the families that I take on to support have to be a good fit for me just as much as I’m a good fit for them. And if I get a sense that we’re not a good fit, that’s okay. That’s why there are so many other sleep consultants. And I can refer out. That’s totally fine. But I want to make sure that I’m working with people that value my expertise. They value my process, and they’re really committed to making a change in their home.

Ruth Marquez: Exactly, yes.

Jayne Havens: So if you’re willing to share, can you give us sort of an idea of the big picture of what you’re doing with families that looks a little bit different than maybe what a lot of other sleep consultants are doing with kiddos of similar age?

Ruth Marquez: Yeah, of course. So I feel like there’s just so much happening in a young child’s development, their mind, and I’ve used all of that to really come up with a confidence-based approach, if that makes sense. I really tackle on all the things in a child’s life. Meaning, where are they emotionally, physically, developmentally? Do they need more sensory input in certain areas? Maybe there’s something happening in their nutrition. I evaluate all the things first. And at that point, what I do is I have a chat with parents.

I guess the best way for me to put it is, when things are done in a way that really builds confidence in a child, I haven’t seen a need for like rewards or keeping mom and dad in the room much, much longer. When things are assessed and addressed in a way that, one, fits that child’s specific needs and, two, resonates with this child in a respectful and loving way, then there’s really no need to prolong the process of keeping mom and dad in that room much longer.

I’ve worked with the most anxious kiddos you can think about, because they’ve been co-sleeping with mom and dad their entire lives. Mom and dad didn’t even need to stay in that room longer than two to three days. So, really, what that looks like is, I give mom and dad the plan. I use the method and, again, I personalize it based on what’s happening with that specific child.

I’ve had kiddos come my way that are on the spectrum. I’m going to start working soon with a kiddo that, he’s working with a speech therapist. So I’m going to like work side by side with her to kind of like help this kiddo with sleep. So, again, it really depends where the child is developmentally. I assess all of those things to really ensure that we can get sleep done as soon as possible and in a way that really builds confidence along the way.

I believe I told you this the other day that with rewards, in particular, I’m just not a fan, you know. I’m not a fan. What we want to teach along the way is self-control, not to be controlled. Right? So if we help this kid to really understand what self -control looks like in a way that resonates with them, with their temperament, their personality, then we will get this done. So, yeah, I don’t know if that kind of gets into the gist of it. I could talk about this all day.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, that’s really helpful. And, you know, your approach, from what I understand, actually really resonates with me personally. I think you and I probably coach similarly in our businesses without knowing exactly what you do. I actually very rarely coach my own clients through the chair method. If I do, it’s same as you. We’re not sitting by the bed. We’re starting by the door. Then we’re in the hall. Then we’re out of sight within two or three days. I’m not spending 13 days working out of the room at bedtime. I agree entirely.

Then I also agree with your point about rewards. I let parents dictate that a little bit more. But personally, I’m less about rewards and more about confidence building. So just making the child feel great about the choices that they’re making. And when they have success, we celebrate it. We get on FaceTime with grandparents. We make sure the teacher at school knows, so the teacher can celebrate in the classroom, and really building up the child to feel good about the choices that they’re making and the changes that the entire family is working to change together. I personally find that that goes way further than a sticker on a chart or a piece of candy in the morning.

I’m not above making a deal with the devil. I’m not above that from time to time. Because I think sometimes you can get by in that way. But largely, I agree with you that, really, when you build confidence and the child decides to make a great choice because they know it’s going to feel good in the morning, I think that that’s way better than a Hershey kiss with breakfast. I’ll take that any day, and I think most kids will as well. They’re looking for connection and confidence rather than candy if we’re going to stick with Cs, right? So I think we’re on the same page there.

I love that you’ve sort of taken what you’ve learned both in CPSM and elsewhere as well and figured out your own coaching style and your own methods. Because I really think that what makes us successful in business is figuring out how to make our businesses work for us, right? Not just for our lifestyle but for our success rate.

And there are things that I have learned along the way. You know, when I was first learning about how to sleep train babies and to set boundaries with toddlers, I was following methods by the books. And now almost everything I do is different than the way it’s written in Ferber’s book or in the Sleep Lady Shuffle book. Like everything that I do is different than the way that it’s written in those books. And it doesn’t mean that the way that it’s written in those books isn’t good. It’s just I’ve adopted my own spin on things. And it sounds like that’s what you’re doing as well.

Ruth Marquez: Yeah, I think we can evolve on different things that we’ve learned. I feel like I have definitely taken a lot of stuff I’ve learned from mentors like you, from other people. I’ve just put everything together, combined it. I feel like every case has taught me something different. I’m the type of person that I love taking on the hard cases. Like, it’s a hard case. It feels outside of my comfort zone. I want it. Because I feel like when you really tackle those hard cases, that’s where you really get a lot of experience. You get to learn a lot.

I personally try to get the answers on my own as much as I can. I try to learn. If I see it’s really outside of my understanding, outside of my experience, I’m like, okay, I’ve read everything. I still don’t get it, that’s when I jump on the CPSM group, which is filled with a bunch of professionals, amazing woman. But I always try to like hold myself accountable and like, “You can do this. Try to learn.” Because, really, every case teaches us something different. I feel like the years of experience as well do help a lot.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, I agree with that. So you’re now currently, I think you told me, supporting like seven to eight families a month. Is that right?

Ruth Marquez: Yeah.

Jayne Havens: Which is amazing. I’m so proud of you that you’ve built your business to be at that level. I think even you have a wait list, which is really cool. How are you handling the increased workload? Are you able to juggle at all, or do you have overwhelm in your business?

Ruth Marquez: Yeah, actually, I was starting to face a lot of burnout a few weeks ago. My husband’s like, “I’m taking you away for the weekend because I can see it.” It’s been rewarding in its way, but now I am getting to a point in my business where I do need to start thinking of what I’m going to do next. What is this going to look like? Am I going to bring someone else on with me to help me? Do I need to possibly hire an assistant?

So I’m currently in the works of trying to figure all of that out because I do recognize this is not feasible for me on the long run. Like a long-term thing is just, it’s a lot, you know. Anyone that’s taken on seven to eight clients, it can be a lot, especially if you have other things happening on the side. So I am trying to figure out what that’s going to look like for the families that are waiting, things like that. So we’ll see a year from now what I’ve decided.

Jayne Havens: You know what? It sounds like you’re up against some really exciting, growing pains, right? You’re at that point where you have to decide how am I going to change what my business looks like so I can continue to enjoy it and also grow, if that’s a goal of yours, which I think it is just because I know you. It’s a really challenging place to be, but once you figure it out and break through — I actually have an idea for you.

I actually think all of those families that you’re supporting via one-to-one support, and you’re running them through this program that you’ve developed, even if there are nuances with each specific family, I think you should actually create a video training for it so that you can still coach them one-to-one but you don’t have to spend an hour talking to them about everything that you probably talk to them about.

And so if you put all of that into video form, then when they buy your one-to-one support package, you can send them a written plan along with a video that will sort of walk them through everything. Then maybe you spend less time actually answering their questions and coaching them because you front-loaded them with more information. I don’t know. Just an idea.

Ruth Marquez: I love that. I actually have some videos in my program, and I was thinking about that too the other day. I’m like, what if I turned this into some sort of group thing where I do like a course in a way and then I do the one-on-one? It’s a lot, but I think I’m going to have to pick your brain on that one because I like where you’re going there.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, we’ll talk offline about that. If you’re willing to share with everybody listening — I know that it’s not ready yet, but you’re sort of in the works working on creating a program for, I think, it’s continuing education for sleep consultants who want more knowledge and more tools in their tool belt for toddlers and preschoolers. Do you want to share what you’re working on?

Ruth Marquez: Yeah, of course. So I’m very excited. Basically, what this is going to look like is, it is going to be an ongoing educational course. Meaning, you do need to be certified first. Jayne needs to give me her thumbs up like you passed a course, you’ve got this. What that’s going to look like is, this is specifically going to be for toddlers and older children. So this is not the chair method, guys. There’s not really much information out there for older children apart from like the chair method, the Sleep Lady Shuffle, right? So I did want to put something out there that’s new that can possibly be in your tool belt, that you guys can use.

As I mentioned earlier, a lot of my clients have come my way because they’re like, “I don’t want to use a chair method. I want something faster. I want to get this done. I need sleep.” That’s really been a huge selling point for me in why they’re willing to spend whatever it is they want to spend with me. They’ve been happy to do so because they’re like, “This is something new. I want this.” I think this would be an amazing addition for a lot of sleep consultants that want to specialize in this specific age group.

It’s going to be a course. I don’t know if I do want to add like some mentorship, something like that along the way. Because I have had some consultants tell me like, “You should do it,” Jayne was also like, “I think it’s needed. We need that.” So I am thinking about adding something like that in the course. But yeah, that’s what that’s going to look like. So, yeah, if you guys have any questions, you can reach out to me and I will let you guys know when it’s ready. I am going to take my time to work on this, because I always like to take time on my projects. I want to make sure that whatever I put out there is worth your money and your time.

Jayne Havens: You have my full blessing. I am a firm believer that we are all stronger as sleep consultants when we’re learning from multiple people. I certainly learned everything I know from a dozen educators or more, right? And so I think that there is something to be learned from books, blogs, courses, other sleep consultants.

I have a training inside of CPSM that was taught by a CPSM grad on social emotional learning. I’m not a social emotional learning expert. That was an incredible training that I was able to learn from somebody who I trained, but she had an area of expertise that I didn’t, right? And that’s incredible. I want CPSM grads to have the opportunity to learn from one another and to learn both from insiders in our community but also outsiders. I fully support this venture, and I’m excited to see you turn it out. For people who are listening, where can they find you? Do you want to share your website, social media?

Ruth Marquez: Yeah, so my website is paradoxzzz.com and my Instagram is @paradoxzzzsleep. You can find me there. You can message me. And you can also, if you’re a sleep consultant that is interested in hearing more about this program, what that’s going to look like, you can definitely reach out to me through the group. Again, once it is ready, Jayne will be the first to know, and then I will announce it to the whole world.

Jayne Havens: Great. Ruth, it was so great chatting with you. Congratulations on all of your success. I’m really, truly, honestly, very, very proud of the strides you’ve made in the past year. You are a perfect testament to the idea that when you work really hard at something and you’re truly passionate about it, you can turn it into the successful thing that you want it to be, whatever that looks like for you. And you’re doing it. I still think this is just the beginning for you. So maybe we’ll check back in another year and see where you’ve landed. So congrats, and thank you again for being on the podcast today.

Ruth Marquez: Thank you so much.

Outro: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Becoming a Sleep Consultant Podcast. If you enjoyed today’s episode, it would mean so much to me if you would rate, review, and subscribe. When you rate, review, and subscribe, this helps the podcast reach a greater audience. I am so grateful for your support.

If you would like to learn more about how you can become a certified sleep consultant, head over to my Facebook Group, Becoming a Sleep Consultant or to my website thecpsm.com. Thanks so much, and I hope you will tune in for the next episode.