Getting Over Your Fear of Selling as a Sleep Consultant with Allison Henderson
If the idea of selling your sleep consulting services makes you feel awkward, anxious, or even a little icky — you are not alone.
On today’s episode of the Becoming a Sleep Consultant podcast, I’m joined by social media business coach and strategist Allison Henderson, who has spent the past six years coaching hundreds of sleep consultants through the very real fear of selling.
We’re diving into the mindset blocks that hold people back — like the fear of looking stupid, being annoying, or not knowing what to say — and how to actually move past them so you can show up confidently, connect with families, and grow your business.
Allison is sharing what the most successful sleep consultants do differently, how to reframe selling so it feels like helping (not pushing), and practical tips for making offers in a way that feels aligned and authentic.
If you’ve ever avoided posting on social media, second-guessed your content, or struggled to connect with your ideal client — this episode will give you the clarity and confidence you’re looking for!
Links:
Website: Allison Henderson
Podcast: The Ambitious Coach Podcast
Instagram: @allisonhenderson_coach
If you would like to learn more about the Becoming a Sleep Consultant, please join our free Facebook Group or check out our CPSM Website.
Book a free discovery call to learn how you can become a Certified Sleep Consultant here.
Transcript:
Intro: Welcome to Becoming a Sleep Consultant! I’m your host Jayne Havens, a certified sleep consultant and founder of both Snooze Fest by Jayne Havens and Center for Pediatric Sleep Management.
On this podcast, I’ll be discussing the business side of sleep consulting. You’ll have an insider’s view on launching, growing, and even scaling a sleep consulting business. This is not a podcast about sleep training. This is a podcast about business building and entrepreneurship.
If the idea of selling your sleep consulting services makes you feel a little bit awkward, anxious, or even a bit icky, you are not alone.
On today’s episode of the Becoming a Sleep Consultant Podcast, I’m joined by social media business coach and strategist Allison Henderson, who has spent the past six years coaching hundreds of sleep consultants through the very real fear of selling. We’re diving into the mindset blocks that hold people back — like the fear of looking stupid, being annoying, or not knowing what to say — and how to actually move past them so that you can show up confidently, connect with families, and grow your business.
Allison is sharing what the most successful sleep consultants do differently, how to reframe selling so it feels like helping and not pushing, and practical tips for making offers in a way that feels aligned and authentic. If you’ve ever avoided posting on social media, second-guessed your content, or struggled to connect with your ideal client, this episode will give you the clarity and confidence you’re looking for.
Jayne Havens: Allison, welcome back to the Becoming a Sleep Consultant Podcast. As always, I’m so excited to chat with you today.
Allison Henderson: Yay! I am so excited to be here. Thank you for having me.
Jayne Havens: So before we get started, tell everybody a little bit about you. I think many of my listeners know who you are, but not everyone. So introduce yourself.
Allison Henderson: Yeah, hello. So, yeah, I’ve been helping sleep consultants, help them just run their business and organize their life for the last about six years. I’m mostly a social media business coach, but I also help you if you want to get out there locally and just really learn how to sell and market yourself and put yourself out there. That is the biggest thing that I want you to do. I want you to confidently learn how to sell and market yourself.
Jayne Havens: Which is perfect, because that is exactly what we’re going to talk about today. I wanted to have you onto the podcast to have a conversation about why, especially new business owners, but I think this comes up even for those who have been in the biz for a while, why people are so afraid to sell themselves. Why are people so afraid of selling? I know that you’ve coached literally hundreds of sleep consultants over the past, I think it’s about six years. How do you know if someone is going to be successful in their business?
Allison Henderson: I want them to just have that willingness just to learn how to sell and market themselves. That’s the first thing. It’s like we do have a lot of baggage when it comes to sales—whether it stemmed from childhood, a past job, maybe you joined an MLM, or you have this fear of perfectionism, rejection. There’s a lot of layers to this. It’s not just, “I just want to know how to sell and market myself, and I’m going to be really good.” But then you’re going to be like, “Okay. But I’m afraid to post this. I’m afraid of what my friends or family are going to say when I actually come out and say my price is $500, or my price is $1,000.”
There’s a lot of things that pop up. But my biggest thing is like, are you willing to learn how to sell and market yourself? Because if you’re willing to learn, you’re going to be fine in this industry. You are going to kill it. It’s not the best coach that wins; it’s the best coach that knows how to sell that wins unfortunately.
And so you could be so good at what you do as a sleep consultant or as a coach. But if you don’t show up, you’re not going to get the client sadly. I hate to say that. But the ones that I see that come out of my program, or I know that come out of your program, that are killing it are showing up every day. They’re talking about their offers. They’re asking for money confidently, and they really want this. There’s something inside of them. It’s like, “I want to make money. I want to help people.” Obviously, that’s their biggest mission. They have that willingness to learn.
Jayne Havens: Where do you think the fear comes from? I think that is literally everybody’s biggest concern. It’s like, “I want to get out there and help families. I’m passionate about supporting moms. I am obsessed with healthy sleep hygiene for babies and toddlers,” but there’s this sort of deep-rooted fear around putting yourself out there. Where do you think that stems from? Why do we feel that way?
Allison Henderson: There could be a few different reasons. I know mine comes from past trauma with childhood stuff. I wanted my mom to pat me on the back for being perfect and for saying things perfectly. So my fear of coming online and not looking perfect or saying things perfect, that was one of my biggest things that I had to deal with when I first started—this fear of perfectionism. I talk a lot about this in my programs because I think most women overall have this fear.
Most people have this fear of, “I want to make sure that I’m coming on here, and people aren’t going to think I look stupid or sound stupid.” I always say too, like, you usually have one or two people in your life that you are in fear of, of like, “They’re going to be talking behind my back. I’m in a group chat, and they’re going to say some things about me,” and all this sort of stuff. There’s all these things that could be happening subconsciously that you’re not even aware of, of why you decide not to sell and show up.
But as I also said earlier too, there’s this fear of rejection. Like, you don’t want to feel bad. You’re just protecting yourself. Every time you show up and sell and maybe someone doesn’t buy or someone says, “No, I don’t want this right now,” we have this uncomfortable feeling that just takes over our body. Like, we make it personal. We make it about us. Like, “They don’t want to hire me specifically.” But a lot of times, that has nothing to do with it. It’s like no. They might want to really work with you, but maybe they don’t have the money, or maybe their husband said no.
There’s all these other objections that can come up. But yeah, there’s all these things. We are constantly trying to protect ourselves from not being uncomfortable.
Jayne Havens: Yeah, I think that’s right. When I think about when I first got started in this field, the thing that was getting in my way is that I was sort of challenging my own identity. Because prior to working as a sleep consultant, I had been a stay-at-home mom for about four years.
It was really hard for me to admit that I wanted more than being home with my children, which I recognized to be a pretty significant privilege. Right? I was lucky enough to be home with my children. And to feel that that was no longer enough for me, that I wanted more—I wanted to be with my children, but I also wanted to work. I wanted to contribute to our household income. I wanted to challenge my brain. I wanted to do smart things—I felt bad about the fact that my role as stay-at-home mom didn’t feel like enough for me anymore.
Allison Henderson: I think a lot of women don’t want to admit that they actually want to run a business. They want to actually be somebody or build an empire for themselves. I think a lot of us come home, like I was the same way as you, Jayne, just so you know. I quit my job. I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but I also knew I wanted to work.
There was definitely something inside of me that’s like, “I just got to find my thing. I want to find my purpose.” But there was a time there, yeah. I was staying at home and I was like, okay, but now I want to do this thing. I had that guilt that came up of like, “But I don’t actually want to just hang out with my kids all day.” I knew business was really fulfilling to me every time I was going to end calls with women.
When I first started, I was life coaching a lot. So these women that were starting businesses, like, yes, I want to talk about that. That was the old me. When I wake up in the morning, I’m so excited to get into my office and coach. This is really what lights me up. I am very spiritual in the sense of, like, you have a soul path. When things start to excite you, that’s how you know you’re on your soul path. Like, “This is what I need. It’s meant for me. I know.”
So all of you right now, if you’re listening to this and you are a sleep consultant, and you’re thinking about becoming a sleep consultant and this excites you, you are on your soul path. There’s something along this path, that you’re along this journey, that is meant for you. You are meant for this. So if this right now is exciting to you, just know like that guilt that might come up, you got to — I don’t want to say release it in a sense. But just know if you keep moving towards what you really want to be doing, you’re going to find ways.
I guess I like to think of my kids in a spiritual way too of, like, they chose me as their mom in this lifetime for a reason. So maybe they chose a working mom. Maybe they wanted to have money. They didn’t want a mom who was constantly like, “We got a budget. We got a penny pinch.” It’s like no. When moms have money, amazing things can happen, right? So I have no shame around this anymore. I love being a working mom. My kids are literally downstairs right now. Like, they’re home. They’re like, they’re with us. My husband is outside.
Jayne Havens: My kids are home today, too.
Allison Henderson: Yeah, they’re here. I obviously have older kids, and I know you have older kids too. So it’s much easier for us to just say, “Hey, peace out for a little bit. Mom has to record an interview.” But yeah, I had to really say it. I want it. I had to say this out loud. I didn’t want to just be a stay-at-home mom. I wanted to build a business. So with that comes, “I got to figure out sitters,” or, “I got to figure out daycare.” I got my hat to really sit with my husband and go, “How can we make this work?”
He’s also an entrepreneur. I know your husband maybe has more of a flexible schedule too. But we had to sit and talk. Like, “Hey, these are my hours. I got to work.” And so I love having that conversation with myself of being, like, it’s okay to want more. So if you’re listening to this, it’s giving you that permission to say it’s okay to want more for yourself. It’s okay to not—I don’t want to say in quotes—just to be a stay-at-home mom. Because it’s so much more than that. But it’s okay if you don’t want that anymore.
Jayne Havens: So for people who are thinking about becoming a sleep consultant or maybe are in the beginning stages of growing their businesses, what would you say to them as far as building that confidence around showing up to sell yourself? Because I think it really does stem from a place of maybe lack of confidence. How do we build that confidence to help people realize that they are capable of this, and that actually it really does feel kind of good once you get good at it?
Allison Henderson: I was going to say that. Yeah, it comes with practice. Let’s be real. You got to try. You got to at least try it. And not try for a week. Like six months, a year, two years. It does take time to build up your confidence. Then your nervous system starts to relax once you start to realize, okay, nobody is coming at me. No one is yelling at me. No one is in a comment section literally picking all my gray hairs out. They’re not doing that. I can promise you. You can come on and be authentic. You can come on in your messy-mom bun and your leggings.
I know that I already said this. The people that you’re afraid that they’re going to judge you, they’re already judging you. They’re already judging you secretly. So why not just come on the internet and be yourself? The weird, quirky, awkward people are the best at selling. They’re the best at being magnetic to the right people.
Almost the weirder you are the better. Because people naturally gravitate — we gravitate towards this sort of people all the time. It’s not the perfect people in the blazers and the suits. I mean, unless you want that sort of lifestyle. But I know most people don’t. They just want an authentic mom. They want to work with the authentic mom that is in the trenches too and gets what they’re going through. When it comes to sales and the psychological aspect around sale, we want to work with people that are just like us, that we can relate to.
Or there’s a part of them that we really envy. Maybe it’s the energy. Everyone always is like, “Oh, Allison, I love your energy.” It’s like, “Great. Awesome. Come be my coaching container. I can help you become more of who you want to become.” So every time that someone is like “I am really afraid to show my face or afraid to show up on social media,” you won’t know until you try. Action helps you build your confidence. Once again, your nervous system will start to relax once you realize no one is going to come at you for having a spit up on your shirt, because you’re hanging out with your baby all morning. It’s going to be okay.
And if you are somebody who really lacks self-confidence overall, okay, well, then there’s definitely some other things that you might need to really dig deeper. Maybe you don’t find yourself beautiful. Maybe you don’t find yourself pretty. Those are certain things that your identity or what you believe in yourself, those are the things that need to change. And so cleaning up your thoughts and your belief system — we call it limiting. What are those limiting beliefs that are stopping you from really being your true self?
Like I said, we have this soul path. Follow those things that excite you. Follow those things. But also, what are the thoughts that come up while you’re building your business or if you are thinking about becoming a sleep consultant right now? What are those thoughts that you have? What are those fears? Sit with a piece of paper, or sit with a therapist. Sit with somebody that’s a good friend of yours and talk it out. Because so many times we just sit with the fear, or we sit with the thoughts, but we don’t change them.
I had a client yesterday. She’s like, “I wish this, I wish that.” I’m like, what if instead of saying ‘I wish’, we just had that or we thought that instead? So there’s like all these things. I’m like we’ve got to clean up your thoughts so that you can actually become. And when we become the person that we want to actually be, we start making a lot more money. Right? We start attracting a bigger tribe of people. We start being more magnetic. There’s just an energy about you that when you come on social media, people just gravitate towards.
Jayne Havens: I love that you said that you have to try for six months, for a year, for two years. Last week’s podcast was an interview with a CPSM grad. Her name is Jamie Hoff. We spoke about how it took Jamie about six months to get into a regular pattern where she just had one to two clients a month. I think a lot of people who are not Jamie would have perhaps given up on themselves maybe three months in, four months in, five months in. But Jamie didn’t because she was passionate about her work.
She understood that her efforts were leading her to somewhere, that she was mastering her craft. She was gaining her confidence. And at that six-month mark is when she really felt like her business started to grow. I think that that most likely coincided with her confidence really blooming, right? She, all of a sudden, started to show up in a way in her business that invited people into her universe. And now, I think it’s a year and a half in, she’s supporting five to eight families a month. She talks like a total boss. She knows what she’s doing. We cannot expect to start something and on day one be the king of the castle. It’s just not how it works.
Allison Henderson: Yeah, I think we immediately get the certification or we get that education that we need to get started and immediately think, “Oh, my business is going to blow up.” I remember having notebooks that said, “I’m making $80,000 this month.” Because that’s what I’m seeing online. I’m seeing all these people killing it. So even that fear, that comparison of, like, “I’m seeing her do it. Why isn’t my business blowing up? Why don’t I have clients?” What I love about Jamie is, like, she needed that — I don’t know this for a fact, by the way. I do know Jamie, but I guess I’m not trying to quote her.
Some people need that experience of coaching to know I can get my clients results, and then we can start showing up differently. I remember those first few testimonials I got where I’m like, “Yeah, I got this.” My clients are getting results. I needed that. Then I was way more confident coming on social media, being like, “Can you see these results? This is exactly what I can teach you,” or, “This is how your life or your business can be. Join my programs.” So sometimes we do need those first 10 clients or even 50 clients to really feel that confidence of like, “I know I can do this.” And it’s not that you need more education or whatever.
Jayne Havens: Yeah, she actually said that on the podcast. She said that the turning point for her was that when she started getting those positive reviews, those written testimonials from her clients who were paying her full price. Because she started off offering some discounts and doing pro-bono work. But once she started charging her full rate, getting the positive reviews from those clients who were paying her full price, that’s when she’s like, “You know what? This work that I’m doing, this is really something. People are willing to pay me what I’m worth. They’re really pleased with the result, and they’re telling everybody. That is, I think, when the transformation starts to happen.” I love that that was your story too.
Allison Henderson: Yeah.
Jayne Havens: Let’s talk about some practical ways that sleep consultants can sell their services that maybe don’t feel salesy. Do you have any quick tips, strategies for how people can show up, whether it’s online or off in a way, sort of beginner style? What’s the gateway strategy to show up when you’re feeling insecure?
Allison Henderson: Well, my big thing that I help all of my sleep consultants that come through my program is like, what is your tangible outcome? What is that thing that you actually are helping them achieve? Because this is the elevator pitch, right? This is the thing that when you meet a mom at a park, or you’re even at an event, or maybe you are just chatting with somebody in the DMs, like, what is that thing that you’re actually going to help them do? I love ChatGPT, don’t get me wrong. But they are very generic sometimes with, like, what do you actually help your clients achieve? It’s not “I help you get a peaceful night’s sleep.” That’s very generic.
I’m very much into getting so specific. I’ll tell you three questions that I always ask myself with content creation and everything. What is that tangible outcome? So it could be, “I help you get your baby 10 plus hours of sleep every night so that…” I love using the word “so that.” So that, what can happen? So that you can have more me time. So that you can have more date nights with your spouse. So that you could sit and read a book and have a hot bath every single night, whatever that is.
I want you to really think about, what do they really desire? But also, what are some things they don’t want to do? So I help you get your baby 10 plus hours of sleep every night without — that’s also something you can do. Without what? Without using the cry-it-out method, without having to pat, hold, or rock your baby to sleep every night. Because a lot of things that these people don’t want to be doing anymore. So for me, that’s like sales 101.
Really think about your ideal client. What is that outcome that you know you can provide? Like your dream client, if they follow that step by step, they followed your plan, what is that outcome they’re likely going to receive? Yes, not not everybody is going to get that, right? And I know with babies, it’s like not everybody is going to get 10 plus hours of sleep. But if that’s like 99% of your clientele is probably going to get this result, then that’s what you say. That’s what you’re going to say. Know your result. When you meet somebody in person, or you’re meeting somebody even in the DMs or on an email, what is that result you’re going to provide for them? Okay? So that’s number one.
The second thing I always like to help people with when it comes to sales is actually being specific. That’s one thing I’m working on in my group program right now. I have a group program called Makin’ Moves. We are getting so deep into content creation. There are websites and there are sales pages. It’s understanding that people need specifics in order for them to get clarity, right? So even with the peaceful nights, what does that actually mean? So that’s like one of your first questions. What do I actually mean by peaceful nights really?
Draw a picture or paint that picture for that mom right now. A peaceful night could be, like I said earlier, taking a hot bath, having a hot cup of tea before bed, being able to read for two or three hours, watching Netflix with your spouse, whatever that is. Paint the picture. So my second question — the first one is: what do I actually mean by that? The second one is: what’s an example of that? I know, in sleep consulting, you guys say sleep associations all the time.
Jayne Havens: Yeah.
Allison Henderson: What’s an example of that? Come on people. We can’t use, I say, industry jargon-y words all the time. I don’t want you sounding like a textbook. Yes, they are probably in Jayne’s program. It does say sleep association. But what does Jayne mean by that? So really paint that picture. Because if we’re using these words that they don’t understand, like this normal mom — I always say you’re going to talk like you’re speaking to a fifth grader. How would you explain sleep associations to them? So that’s the second one: what’s an example of that?
Then the third question I always ask is: how might this show up in her, in this mom’s everyday real life? Right? So when she says, “Oh, we had an early morning wake,” early waking is cool but nice to actually paint that picture a bit.
You woke up at 5 AM. Your baby was cranky and crying. You immediately went to the coffee pot, turned it on. You had to change your baby’s diaper. You maybe ate a quick little breakfast and just decided to sit, but your baby is crawling all over you, crying, cranky. Paint the picture. What is her morning actually like because her baby woke up at 5 AM? Right? So those three questions—what’s an example of that, what do I actually mean by that, and how might this show up in this mom’s everyday real life—that’s going to help you a lot with sales. Okay?
Content is really big for me. Obviously, this is a big part of social media, right? That’s a big piece of the puzzle. And so when we have really good content and we’re really specific, sales become so much more natural. Because you can literally just say, “This is what I can offer you. This is how your life could change,” or, “These are the things that you’re experiencing right now.”
We always are buying based off of an emotional need or an emotional want, right? Either I want to feel this way, or I don’t want to feel this way anymore. So in your content, it’s so easy to actually talk about that. And so at the end, though, guess what? You’re literally going to have a call to action. You’re going to say, “Hey, I can help you with this.”
Come back to your tangible outcome there, right? “If you want to get your baby sleeping 10 plus hours a night without having to rock, hold or feed them to sleep, send me a DM today” or something. Or, “Click the link in my bio to book that 15-minute discovery call.” That’s sales. It doesn’t have to be complicated. To me, that’s very soft selling right there. You’re literally just painting this picture. You’re saying, “If you don’t want to feel this way anymore and these are the results that you want, send me a DM.” Okay?
But also, too, you can just post a testimonial on the next—this could be a story or something—on the next side. It could be a little poll that says like, “Do you want results?” It could be so simple. I think we just make sales so hard. And I always say this too, of like sales is just presenting an opportunity. That’s all this is. You have this beautiful gift of this knowledge that you have. What a waste for you not to share that, right? You’re doing everyone a disservice by not talking about this offer or all this knowledge that you have.
So really, to me, whenever I come on and I have like that, ooh, that bubble up of emotions of, “Oh, if I post this, what are people going to say,” I just go, “What I offer is a gift.” Read a testimonial. Go back to a testimonial if you need to. I know I can get my clients this result. I know I can do it. You’re going to post it.
This is when sales becomes easy. Because you get people DMing you. Or you’re at an event even and people are signing up for your email list and following you on Instagram or joining your Facebook group. You can talk to them, like, “Hey, I know you. You remember me from that event?” They already have some sort of connection with you. And yeah, sales to me is like making that connection, talking about that outcome that you’re going to help them achieve and saying, “Would you like this?” Having the guts to say, “Are you looking for support with this?”
Jayne Havens: And I think for brand new sleep consultants who don’t yet have a ton of experience—they haven’t worked with a ton of families. They can’t point to 40 different stories where they have gotten somebody a really incredible outcome—I think it’s always helpful to go back to your own why. Whether it’s the transformation that you had with your own children, or even we train a lot of sleep consultants who don’t even have children of their own, but they have some sort of connection to the parenting space in one way or another, whether they’re nannies or postpartum doulas. I really do believe that everyone has a story that they can share.
For a postpartum doula who doesn’t have children of their own, they can still share a story about the little 12-week-old that they just wrapped up with. That when they started with that family, the baby was doing A, B, and C. And when they wrapped up with the family, the baby was doing X, Y, and Z and how transformative that was. I think everybody can dig in and share either a personal story, a story of a friend, a sister-in-law.
Everybody’s got a story. And I think if you can just talk about what you do in a way that connects heart to heart, I don’t know, I sort of think that’s all it takes. Everybody just wants to hear like, “Wow, that was amazing.” I don’t know. We all have stories like that.
Even if they’re seemingly so small, you know. The story that I tell all the time is how my son, who was a great little sleeper, went from sleeping all night to needing a pacifier every single hour. It wasn’t much. Popped the paci in, 12, 1, 2, 3, all night long. Then one day, I decided to implement some sleep training and, 27 minutes later, he was sleeping and slept through the night pretty much every night since. And like, what an amazing story. It’s so simple, but people connect with that.
Allison Henderson: You can always start there until you start getting some clients and then you have actual before-and-after stories, right? It doesn’t have to be like this hard thing that you maybe are making it out to be. It could just be you sharing a story and at the end saying, “Do you want results like this? Send me a DM.”
Jayne Havens: Yeah, just making the ask. I’m going to go back to the mindset piece for a second because I think that that is trickier than the action. Right? We could give you 10 or 100 different things that you could do to sell your sleep consulting business. That’s, I think, the easy part. The hard part is the person who is maybe listening to this conversation and feeling completely overwhelmed with the idea of taking that first step. What would you say to the person who just is like stuck in their mind?
Allison Henderson: We just live in such an amazing time in history where we have information at our fingertips. Literally, they spit out questions, they spit out information within seconds. So I’m very much just like, I know the mindset piece of like, I’m feeling really stuck right now. I guess ask yourself why. What is the deep underlying, the root of why you don’t want to start this today? Are you afraid of being busy? I know some moms, they’re already really busy. So they’re being like, “Oh, I have to also help a client or five clients for now.” You have to really understand the deep root of what’s going on.
One of my clients, she’s kind of having a slow month. And I go, “But maybe there’s something inside you that you kind of wanted a slow month, because you had a really busy month last month.” There’s always something. I’m like, ask yourself some of these questions. Why aren’t you showing up in the way that you were a month ago? Some of it is really like, “Yeah, I’m already really busy. And you giving me five more clients right now would really make me more overwhelmed.” Right?
But also, too, maybe if you were talking about money, that might be a big thing too. You don’t even talk about money in your household, so what makes you think that you can talk about money with clients or within your own business? There’s a lot of different things where I’m like, “So you got to get curious.” Everyone has their own story. They all have their own deep mind — I don’t want to say it’s a mindset issue, but it could be. Sometimes it’s a strategy issue. Sometimes it’s like, “I have a fear of looking stupid. I don’t want people to really think that I’m dumb.”
Yeah, you’re going to be showing up on social media. People might have that thought about you. Okay. Like I always say, what’s the worst-case scenario? What if Aunt Betty thinks that you look stupid or you sound dumb? Really think about it. Are you going to stop your business because your aunt doesn’t like how you show up on video?
By the way, the first few times you show up on video is going to be cringy. Oh my God, guys. It’s going to be so cringy. And it’s okay. It’s okay. You got to get through your cringy phase. I think once you get through the cringy phase, things start to feel a lot more natural for you. But you just got to try. You got to try. So I hope I answered your question, Jayne.
Jayne Havens: Yeah. Well, I think it’s actually very — I think that what you said is sort of spot on because I think the same way. That sometimes when we talk to moms and they say they can’t afford it about working with us, it’s not that they actually can’t afford it. It’s that they’re scared to do it, or they don’t want to ask their spouse. They literally don’t even want to ask their husband. I had somebody on a call the other day. I actually asked that both parents be on the call if it’s a two-parent household. The mom said to me like, “My husband doesn’t have anything to do with this.” It’s all like, “I’m the decision maker, blah, blah, blah.”
Usually, I push back on that, but I just didn’t for one reason or another. And so I let her get on the call. We had a great call, and she wanted to hire me. And she didn’t. I followed up with her today and I was like, “Hey, I was totally expecting. You just signed on to work together. What happened? Is there something getting in the way?” She said, “It turns out my husband is not as supportive as I thought he was.”
So sometimes it’s not what you think. The objection is different than what you think. I think it’s the same thing when people say that they’re afraid of sales, or they’re afraid to put themselves out there. Maybe it’s not really that. Maybe it’s not that they’re afraid to put themselves out there. Maybe it’s that they’re afraid that they’re going to not make any money, or maybe they’re afraid that they won’t be able to help people. Right? There’s actually lots of reasons for why you might be really scared to show up that aren’t really about showing up.
And so I agree with you. I think that we need to dig deep into what’s keeping us stuck so that we can move forward. I tend to not struggle with this personally. So when I see people struggling with this, I have a hard time relating. Because I’m the type of person that’s just like, “Just try. Just try. Just try.” I try all the time. I literally try 50 times a day. All I do is I try all day long.
Sometimes I succeed, and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes it’s a hot mess, and sometimes I learn something along the way. But I am the type of person that tries, tries, tries, tries, tries. And I am not afraid of things not going well because that’s just a part of trying. And so I think that the mindset piece is really, like, you have to get to a place where you’re comfortable trying. And as you said, you have to get to a place where you really realize what’s keeping you stuck. Because if you blame something that’s not really the thing, then you’re not able to move past it because you’re sort of telling yourself a story that isn’t really true.
Allison Henderson: Yeah, I love how you explained that. That was so true. Yeah, you got to try. You have to be willing to fail. I don’t know any successful business owner that has not failed a hundred times. Like, they tried, they failed, they pivoted, they moved things around, whatever.
You got to at least try. And not just try for a week. Like, “I tried once. I posted that one thing and it didn’t work.” It’s like, post it 100 times and tell me it didn’t work. I really want you giving it your all and for months, if not years. I know there are so many business owners. Like, “I did that for almost a decade before I actually blew up my business.” The overnight successes that we all see, there was so much work that had to be done before that and a lot of the cringy work, the stuff that was so uncomfortable. But they did it anyway because they had the why.
They had something that they were striving towards. I think that is a big piece of all this, too, of like if you do want to be able to stay home with your kids but still make $5,000 to $10,000 or more a month, whatever that is for you, or if you’re just somebody — my lifestyle is like I love going on vacation. I love being able to save up my money and do whatever I want to do. When moms have money, like I said, magical things happen. We get to do all kinds of fun stuff.
So, yeah, that’s always something for me. What is my why? Why am I waking up every day? Why am I coming into my office? Why am I selling? Why am I asking for money? What is that thing for you? And if you don’t know, that’s fine. Your purpose and your intention can change as you grow your business. Like when I first started, I just wanted to make some money so I could be home with my kids. Then it evolved over time.
You will evolve. You’re going to grow. As a business owner, as a mom, as a wife, whatever, whoever that you are, you’re going to evolve. Your story is going to change, and that’s not a bad thing. So who I was a year ago is definitely different from who I am today. And so you’re always allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to pivot. But a lot of it is getting a little uncomfortable, acknowledging some things that are happening within you, in your mind, of like, “These are the beliefs that I keep carrying. I don’t need to believe that anymore. I can choose to do something else.”
I used to think, “Oh, building a business is so hard. It’s just so hard. What if this actually would be easy? What if I was able to live an easy life?” And so now I feel like a lot of things are just in the flow. I just kind of live my life. I have this intention of, I want to live my life easily and I want to be happy. I want to be fulfilled. So that’s all the universe kind of throws at me now.
Yes, I have challenges just like everybody else and struggles. I have thoughts that still come to me that’s like ugh. I acknowledge the thought and I go, “What would be a more positive thought here?” Everything’s not happening to me. It’s happening for me. Your business is going to be the best form of self-development, because it’s going to make you ask questions about yourself that no one will ever ask you. You’re going to have to ask yourself. It’s like, why am I feeling this way right now? I’m feeling a little wonky. I’m feeling like this isn’t something I like. Why am I feeling this?
Ask. Get to the root. Do the best to your ability to get to that root cause. It’s okay to still feel that way. It’s not like you’re getting rid of that pain, or that feeling, or that challenge. But at least, you know where it’s coming from. And so the next time it happens, you’re a lot more prepared. Or you at least go, “Oh, I need to…” It’s like imposter syndrome or something. Like, “I don’t know if I can get my clients results.”
Okay. Well, what would be the next logical step for me to get through this? Okay. I need to get some clients. I need to actually try to get my clients results. So if I have 10 testimonials, I’m going to feel so much better. This imposter syndrome hopefully will start to go away the more that I build that confidence within myself to get my clients results.
Hopefully, that helps a bit when it comes to feeling the pain in a sense of feeling that uncomfortableness. It’s okay. Just acknowledge it and try to dissect it a little bit. Don’t just completely ignore it. But sit with your thoughts and your feelings for a bit and go, “Why am I feeling this? What’s really happening here?”
Jayne Havens: And it gets so much easier over time, right? Like the way that you described that now your business feels easy and you’re in a flow, I feel that way too. I mean, I am in such a flow. My business just happens. And, yes, things are hard. I come up against challenges. I get thrown curveballs, but they don’t rock me the way that maybe they would have five plus years ago. Because with experience, I think, comes sturdiness and confidence. You have to put in the time and the work to get there. It doesn’t happen overnight.
Allison Henderson: Yeah.
Jayne Havens: Right?
Allison Henderson: You nailed it, Jayne. You nailed it.
Jayne Havens: Where can people learn more from you? Share whatever you’d like to share.
Allison Henderson: Sure. I hang out on Instagram mostly, @allisonhenderson_coach. I also have my own podcast called The Ambitious Coach. So if you want to come and learn a lot more, I am posting episodes almost every single week. Yeah, thxat’s where I’d come. Hang out with me for free. If you want to actually get into my coaching world, then send me a DM. I’ll tell you what I have going on. I’m constantly posting about all my opportunities. Because at the end of the day, I just want to help you and I want you to make a lot more money. That’s my big goal for all of you.
Jayne Havens: Amen to that. I love having you in my circle. I can’t wait to do this again soon. Thank you as always.
Outro: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Becoming a Sleep Consultant Podcast. If you enjoyed today’s episode, it would mean so much to me if you would rate, review, and subscribe. When you rate, review, and subscribe, this helps the podcast reach a greater audience. I am so grateful for your support.
If you would like to learn more about how you can become a certified sleep consultant, head over to my Facebook Group, Becoming a Sleep Consultant or to my website thecpsm.com. Thanks so much, and I hope you will tune in for the next episode.