Growing Up with A Sleep Consultant Mom: One Year Later, with Sid Havens
About a year ago, I sat down with my son, Sid, to record one of the most loved episodes of this podcast. We talked about what it’s like to have a mom who’s a sleep consultant, and people couldn’t get enough of it! So, we decided to do it again.
A lot can change in a year. Sid is now 13, a little older and a lot funnier, and I’ve grown another year in my business. Together, we thought it would be fun to revisit the conversation and share how life has evolved for both of us.
In this episode, Sid shares his perspective on what it’s like having a mom who works from home, how my flexible schedule impacts our family life, and some of the perks (and quirks) that come along with having a sleep consultant mom. We also talk about travel, freedom, and what it really means to build a business that allows me to show up as both a mom and an entrepreneur.
If you’ve ever wondered what this career looks like from a family’s point of view, or you’re thinking about becoming a sleep consultant yourself, this conversation will give you an honest, lighthearted peek behind the curtain.
Links:
Sid’s Website: Sid’s Rundown
If you would like to learn more about the Becoming a Sleep Consultant, please join our free Facebook Group or check out our CPSM Website.
Book a free discovery call to learn how you can become a Certified Sleep Consultant here.
Transcript:
Intro: Welcome to Becoming a Sleep Consultant! I’m your host Jayne Havens, a certified sleep consultant and founder of both Snooze Fest by Jayne Havens and Center for Pediatric Sleep Management.
On this podcast, I’ll be discussing the business side of sleep consulting. You’ll have an insider’s view on launching, growing, and even scaling a sleep consulting business. This is not a podcast about sleep training. This is a podcast about business building and entrepreneurship.
About a year ago, I sat down with my son, Sid, to talk about what it’s like to have a mom who’s a sleep consultant, and that episode ended up being such a hit. People loved hearing about this work from his perspective, so we thought it was time for round two.
A lot can change in a year. Sid is a year older, a little wiser, and I have another year of business growth and experience under my belt. Together, we wanted to revisit this conversation to give you an updated look at what life really looks like behind the scenes. Our hope is that as you listen, you’ll get a real sense of how this work provides flexibility, freedom, and the ability to be both present as a parent and successful in business—all through the lens of a 13-year-old who’s seen it firsthand.
Jayne Havens: Sid, welcome back to the Becoming a Sleep Consultant podcast. This is going to be really fun.
Sid Havens: I’m so excited. Last time we did this, we actually had a blast. I hope that you guys had a great time listening because we had a lot of fun recording. Because to me, it was important to show how grateful I am and how happy I am that I have a mom that gets to do it all with us — she’s able to do activities with us, play with us, and help us with things like homework, or just give us advice.
Jayne Havens: All while running a business, right?
Sid Havens: Yeah, it’s pretty bizarre to me because I don’t know many people that do that.
Jayne Havens: Yeah, it is pretty special. Let’s get started with — I’d love to have you describe what I do for work.
Sid Havens: My mom is a sleep consultant. She helps babies and younger kids—and sometimes even older kids—that don’t know how to sleep or kind of had a blip in the process. She kind of gets them back on track or gets them on track for the first time and coaches them through the process, which is why she calls herself a sleep coach.
Jayne Havens: Yeah, I love that. What do your friends ask about my job? Do they know what I do?
Sid Havens: A lot of them know what you do. Because in fourth grade, we had a business fair, where we each had to come up with ideas for a business. We had a few people come in and speak to show us what entrepreneurship really is, how to do it right, and sometimes the things that go wrong. My mom was one of those speakers. She came in and told my grade how to have a business and even the perks of it with staying home with your children. So most of them know that she’s a sleep consultant. But if they don’t, I simply tell them: she helps kids that don’t know how to sleep or forgot how to sleep, and she gets them back on track.
Jayne Havens: What would you say it’s like having a mom who works from home?
Sid Havens: I feel extremely fortunate. Because my whole life, I have had my mom been able to play with me, take care of me, and do all the activities with me. Before she was a sleep coach, she was a
stay-at-home mom. I didn’t go to daycare as a kid. When we used to live in D.C., she used to take me on walks.
Our favorite activity, I think, was going to local Petco and seeing all the pets. Because she would never let us have a pet of our own, which is probably for the best. But not long after we moved, I think that Petco probably closed down because I think we were the only customers there. But I think that I’m really lucky because it’s really not — I said this earlier, but it’s pretty bizarre that you are able to just do everything with us.
There are so many people that have such intense jobs, that have babysitters or just one parent taking care of us. But we’re so lucky because I feel like you and dad really open up your schedules to take care of us and have fun with us.
Jayne Havens: Yeah, I do love that about this work. I will say that when I first started my business, my priority was still to be the primary caregiver for you guys. That has always been a top priority for me. I wanted to go back to work. I wanted to contribute financially to our household income, but I didn’t want that to mean that time was going to be taken away from you guys.
And so, over the years, as my business has grown, certainly, there are times when I have to work and I ask that you guys entertain yourselves a little bit, right? There are certainly moments where that happens, but I really try to make it. It’s still my top priority to remain a present parent for you guys. And I think today is a perfect example of that, right?
Sid Havens: I was literally just thinking that exact same thing.
Jayne Havens: So Sid is off from school today, and we had some time to kill. I do have calls today. But in between my calls, we had some time to kill. I thought, “You know what? It’s been a year since the two of us recorded a podcast episode. Let’s do this together.” Right? And so, here we are spending time together, but I’m also working at the same time. How cool is that?
Sid Havens: It’s really amazing. Honestly, I feel like it’s the perfect balance. Because, as I’ll explain later, I have a sports newsletter. Sometimes my mom does have work, and she gives us ideas on what to do in between. Actually, I don’t tell her this a lot, but I credit her for why I started my sports newsletter. Because she was like, “Why don’t you do something with sports,” when she was working, creating a sleep plan. So even when she’s not directly playing with us or having fun with us, she’s giving us ideas on how to do that on our own.
Jayne Havens: I actually love that you brought that up. Because when I talk to people who are interested in getting into this line of work, especially parents of younger children, one thing that parents will say to me is: “I’m a stay-at-home mom. I have two young kids. My hands are full. I feel like I won’t have time to dedicate to my business because I’m always busy playing with my kids.” I respect that. I’ve been there. I started this business when you guys were really, really little. But I do think that there’s value in teaching children independent play and how to entertain yourself without someone always being in your face.
I do think that as my business has grown—Sid, I’ll have you speak into this—I do think that it’s taught you how to navigate the day. If you’re off from school and I still have to work, you’ve gotten really creative about how to spend your time—whether some of that is time where we’re engaged and some of that time we’re not. But you’ve really figured out how to navigate the day, I think, because I can’t always micromanage every minute with you.
Sid Havens: Yeah, and I feel like the minutes that we have together is so special. But also, you give me ideas. You’re like, “Sid, why don’t you start a sports research project that you can upload to your mailing list?” So I just feel very fortunate to not only have a mom that opens up her schedule to us, but is so creative-minded, that gives us ideas to open our minds and get us thinking.
Jayne Havens: What would you say is something that you’re able to do because of my job that maybe other kids haven’t had the opportunity to do?
Sid Havens: My mind immediately jumps to the Denver trip that turned into the Vail trip that turned into the Chicago trip. So my mom was holding a retreat this past summer for people enrolled in her Center for Pediatric Sleep Management. She thought it would be a great idea because she’s seen it done before: to hold a retreat, to gather them all together, and have some networking time—all that kind of stuff. But before that ever happened, she was trying to scout places to even hold that trip.
So we hopped on a plane to Denver, and we turned it into a fun family trip. It was really amazing because we were kind of killing two birds with one stone. On one hand, my mom was seeing if this would be a suitable place for her retreat, which it was. It was a great hotel and great area. But also, we turned it into a trip that we had so much fun on. Me, my dad, and some of his friends went on a tour of the Colorado Rocky Stadium.
Then after the Denver trip, we went on the second leg of our trip to Vail. I don’t know if that was really part of the business trip, but I think we wanted to turn it into a family trip. We went to Vail. We went fly fishing, which was amazing. Then my parents decided that they were going to surprise us. In the gate, they told us, “We’re going to go to Chicago, and we’re going to go to a concert.” That just turned out to be one of the craziest trips of my life. Because I feel like it started out as scouting for my mom’s retreat, and it turned into one of the best trips that I think we’ve been on as a family.
Jayne Havens: Right. And so, it was really the perfect combination of work and family time all wrapped into one.
Sid Havens: Yeah.
Jayne Havens: And I love that the timing worked out, that I was able to take you guys. Because realistically, I could have just gone to Denver on my own, right? I wanted to make sure that the hotel was going to work for the programming we had planned. I wanted to make sure that the area surrounding the hotel was going to be the right fit for the dynamic that I was looking for. But I guess, the way it turned out — when did we do this? Right after you guys got home from camp? Yeah, it was right after you guys got home from camp.
Sid Havens: It was right after we got home from camp. Then you hosted it this summer. Aren’t you doing another one this upcoming summer? I don’t know if that’s a secret.
Jayne Havens: No, it’s not a secret. So, two summers ago, I took you and Ivy, and Jonathan came along. We made it—
Sid Havens: And Bobby came along.
Jayne Havens: Right. My mom came along.
Sid Havens: That’s a story for another time.
Jayne Havens: The whole family came along for this scouting trip to make sure that the hotel and the neighborhood was the right fit for the Nurture Nap Network Retreat, which was the first time that we ever planned an in-person conference/retreat for the CPSM community. Then the following summer, the retreat actually happened while you were in camp, which I think is a really valid share. Because I was able to take that first trip with you guys and include you all and make it into a little bit of a family vacation. But then, I was able to leverage time when you’re at camp. It was actually perfect timing to make that happen while you’re away, so I wasn’t juggling family and work at the same time.
Sid Havens: I hope that your retreat keeps going successfully so that one day, when I’m finished with camp, I can come on one of these retreats with you.
Jayne Havens: Yeah, maybe you can work at the retreat.
Sid Havens: Yeah.
Jayne Havens: Okay. So let’s shift gears for a second. I want to get your perspective on the way that I support families. I’m sure that you — not I’m sure. I know, from time to time, that you’re listening in on phone calls that I have with the parents that I support. Because sometimes I’m doing it when you’re home. Sometimes I’m doing it when we’re all in the car. What are your takeaways from those conversations that you overhear from time to time?
Sid Havens: I really hear a lot of the same stuff. But my overall takeaways are that there’s really no secret sauce. What my mom’s business is, is this is a tough process, and you need a coach to get you through it.
I’m going to give you a sports analogy because that’s what I do. A team cannot win the Super Bowl, or the championship, or the Stanley Cup without a coach and the whole ownership and organization around it. So I’m going to describe this as a whole thing. My mom is the head coach. The parents are the owners, and the child is the team. Everyone is focused on the team doing as well as they possibly can. So they need to hire a good coach and have good ownership and really push them over the finish line.
Jayne Havens: I love that. That’s incredible. I never thought about it that way. But that’s exactly right. What’s one thing that maybe you’ve heard me say to the families that I’m supporting that you’ve also seen me put into place at home?
Sid Havens: Sometimes my sister has a little trouble sleeping through the night—and that’s normal. Usually, it comes when school starts back up again, which is totally normal because school can be stressful. Sometimes we can both get a little anxious about school starting. Maybe she’ll come out of her room a few times and express her anxiety or nervousness to my parents. They’ll really say, “I love you. It’s time to go to bed.” That’s the main message here. When they’re telling her, “Go back to bed,” they’re reassuring her that school is not going to hurt you. Everything is safe. That is the main message: that she’s safe, you guys love her, and it’s time to go to bed to get some rest.
Jayne Havens: Yeah, fair. Luckily, she only does that really right in the beginning of school, right? We’re not dealing with these things all the time. It’s understandable that she is anxious before the start of school and has a hard time. But one thing for an independent sleeper like Ivy—and just like I tell a lot of my clients who have kids who actually know how to sleep but just don’t want to—sometimes you have to set a boundary.
Like, “I can’t do it for you. I cannot do this for you.” You being up, screaming and crying, and coming out of your room, none of that makes it any better, right? That just makes it all harder. So these are conversations that I have with my clients, and sometimes these are conversations that I have with my own child, who very rarely—but from time to time—will struggle. I love that you hear it, and you see me put it into place at home just the same way that you hear me coach families.
How do you think my job affects our family life?
Sid Havens: I really don’t think it does that much, and I’m going to explain why. This past weekend, and a few weekends ago, we had bar mitzvahs to go to in New York. It’s really crazy to me that my parents are able to just step away from what they do for an entire weekend, and sometimes maybe even a Friday or a Monday, to leave early or get back late, to have fun as a family and go on these little trips.
I’m going to mention something because I looked at my shirt and remembered. A few weekends ago, we were in Long Island for a bar mitzvah. And about an hour until we got to Long Island, we saw a sign for Flushing, New York. We decided to turn it into a day at the U.S. Open, which was really special because I think we had always wanted to do that. The fact that you guys were able to do that on your end, and we were still able to get to the bar mitzvah—because we took that day off of school, and that was totally okay with your guys’ schedule—was really special.
Jayne Havens: Yeah, that was, I think, one of the best days.
Sid Havens: That was magical.
Jayne Havens: That was one of the best days we’ve had in a really, really long time.
Sid Havens: We should do that again next year.
Jayne Havens: Definitely. Do you ever feel like my work takes away from family time?
Sid Havens: I really don’t because we are still able to have so much fun together. An example I’m going to use is: our little cousins live literally right down the street from us. Almost every day, we’re able to go there, or sometimes they’ll come to us, and we literally spend the whole afternoon there until it’s time for them to go to bed. That’s really special, because I really don’t know that many people who are so close with their cousin. And it’s really going to be special to watch them grow up because he’s four, and she’s one.
Jayne Havens: Yeah, three and a half and one.
Sid Havens: Yeah, it’s important. Because I feel like they’re so young, and the fact that we’re going to be able to see them grow up is really special.
Jayne Havens: And so, people who are listening understand that dynamic. What that looks like is, Sid and Ivy get home from school at what? 4, 4:30.
Sid Havens: Sometimes 5, yeah.
Jayne Havens: Sometimes 5, depending on the day. The cousins get home from daycare at about 5.30. And so, you know, I’ll feed the kids a quick early dinner after school. Then if my workload allows, all of us will go over to the cousin’s house right after. And if my work schedule doesn’t allow, they live right down the street, so the kids can walk by themselves and spend a couple of hours at the cousins’ house. Then I drive over and pick them up in the evenings.
It works out for everybody because my brother and sister-in-law have two little mother’s helpers who are helping them with the most challenging part of their day. Either we’re all there, or the kids are there. But yeah, I love that we get to do that. If I had a more traditional nine-to-five job, how do you think it would look different?
Sid Havens: I think it would completely shift our family dynamic. It would still be the same in the morning because our school starts at like 8, 8:15. But around nights, it would mean that we would probably have to stay late at school every single day, and it would mean less time to do our homework. It would mean that it’s just a more rushed afternoon. But with the job that you have, it allows us to kind of like take it slow a little more and just enjoy it.
Jayne Havens: I also will point out that—it probably doesn’t even occur to you because I’ve never had to do this—most parents who work a full in-office day job have after school help. So maybe they have a high school kid or a college kid pick up the kids from school, bring them home, make dinner, help with homework. It probably didn’t even occur to you that that’s what your life could look like. Not that that’s a bad thing, you know. We have plenty of friends who do that, and it works out just fine.
Sid Havens: Yeah, but it just would shift our dynamic a lot.
Jayne Havens: Exactly. The fact that I’ve never been in a position to not be that person for you guys, I think, is really special.
Sid Havens: It is really special.
Jayne Havens: What do you think you’ve learned from watching me build my business?
Sid Havens: I think I’ve learned that having a job does not have to be boring. It does not have to take up your whole day, your whole week, and your whole year. You can use your time effectively and help other people, but also prioritize your family and your kids and having fun with them. And really, I’ve learned that it doesn’t have to be boring having a job.
Jayne Havens: Do you think you’d maybe want to start your own business one day?
Sid Havens: I’m still interested in being a sports broadcaster, having something to do with sports. Maybe I would start a business involving the two. Maybe I would start a sports business or maybe not. But either way, I’ve still learned a ton from watching you do what you do.
Jayne Havens: Let’s end there. Before we go, I think what everyone really wants to know is how they can get on your email list and read sports news from you.
Sid Havens: Yeah. So if you’re not already on it, I would recommend that you go to sidsrundown.com, which is my website, which will prompt you to put in your first name and email. And if you do that, every Monday—give or take, if we don’t have a busy weekend, which normally we don’t—I will put out either a newsletter or a podcast talking about the happenings of sports, what is really going on, and sometimes going behind the scenes to really talk about some things that most people don’t see but are still very important.
Jayne Havens: Awesome. I hope everybody listening will subscribe. Thank you so much for taking some time today to reflect on what it looks like to have a mom who’s also a business owner and, specifically, a sleep consultant. I always love hearing your perspective. Maybe we’ll have to make this an annual thing, because the last time we did it was a year ago, and maybe we’ll do it every single year.
Sid Havens: Yeah, that would be great.
Jayne Havens: Thanks for being on the show today.
Sid Havens: Thank you for having me.
Outro: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Becoming a Sleep Consultant Podcast. If you enjoyed today’s episode, it would mean so much to me if you would rate, review, and subscribe. When you rate, review, and subscribe, this helps the podcast reach a greater audience. I am so grateful for your support.
If you would like to learn more about how you can become a certified sleep consultant, head over to my Facebook Group, Becoming a Sleep Consultant or to my website thecpsm.com. Thanks so much, and I hope you will tune in for the next episode.