A Client Success Story, with Ruth Marquez

 

Ruth is a Certified Sleep Consultant with a background of 14 years in childcare. Her interest on the topic of sleep was inspired by her husband when he helped her overcome her own sleep struggles. Sleep deprivation took a huge toll on her physical and mental health. She knew she had to better her sleep but didn’t know where to start. She began to do extensive research and slowly but gradually began to apply everything she learned in her own life first. She is a big believer in teaching by example, and felt the burden to share her own experiences and sleep journey with others who struggle too.

The passion she had for sleep plus the support of her amazing husband lead her to start her own Sleep Consulting Practice “Paradoxzzz LLC”. Through her business, she has been able to support families and children facing sleep deprivation through her online 1:1 sleep support packages. Her sleep consulting business is centered on both the child and the parent. She believes sleep training is not just the opportunity to teach a child to learn independent sleep, but also to provide tired exhausted parents the support and tools they need to set them up for ongoing success. She is determined to continue supporting families and give them the care they deserve!

 

Links:

Website: Paradoxzzz
Instagram: @paradoxzzzsleepconsulting

 

If you would like to learn more about the Becoming a Sleep Consultant, please join our free Facebook Group or check out our CPSM Website.

Book a free discovery call to learn how you can become a Certified Sleep Consultant here.

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Transcript:

Intro: Welcome to Becoming a Sleep Consultant! I’m your host Jayne Havens, a certified sleep consultant and founder of both Snooze Fest by Jayne Havens and Center for Pediatric Sleep Management.

On this podcast, I’ll be discussing the business side of sleep consulting. You’ll have an insider’s view on launching, growing, and even scaling a sleep consulting business. This is not a podcast about sleep training. This is a podcast about business building and entrepreneurship.

Ruth is a Certified Sleep Consultant with a background of 14 years in childcare. Her interest on the topic of sleep was inspired by her husband when he helped her overcome her own sleep struggles. Sleep deprivation took a huge toll on her physical and mental health. She knew she had to better her sleep but didn’t know where to start. She began to do extensive research and slowly but gradually began to apply everything she learned in her own life first. She is a big believer in teaching by example, and felt the burden to share her own experiences and sleep journey with others who struggle too.

The passion she had for sleep plus the support of her amazing husband lead her to start her own Sleep Consulting Practice “Paradoxzzz LLC”. Through her business she has been able to support families and children facing sleep deprivation through her online one-to-one sleep support packages. Her sleep consulting business is centered on both the child and the parent. She believes sleep training is not just an opportunity to teach a child to learn independent sleep, but also to provide tired exhausted parents the support and tools they need to set them up for ongoing success. She is determined to continue supporting families and give them the care they deserve.

Jayne Havens: Ruth, welcome to the Becoming a Sleep Consultant Podcast. I am very excited to have you on the show today.

Ruth Marquez: Thank you so much. I genuinely love your podcast so much, so I am so excited to be here.

Jayne Havens: I love that. Thank you for saying that. Before we get started, why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself and why you felt pulled to become a sleep consultant?

Ruth Marquez: Sure. So COVID time, and I started getting very burnt out with my nanny job. I loved it so much and the pay was great. It’s just I knew I wanted more for myself. Apart from that, my husband just started his own business. So I began to envy him. He has all this time. He has all this flexibility. And I’m here in my nine-to-seven job, and I can’t really enjoy my time like that well. So I started to do endless, endless amounts of research. I thought, let me go back to school and finish my degree. I wanted to become a psychologist. I was midway into it.

But I realized, yeah, that’s not feasible at this point. I knew I wanted babies at some point. We wanted to try and have a family soon. I was like, this nanny job is just not going to cut it off for me. I want to be with my kids. I want to be a mom, a present mom there at the moment with my kiddos. I started to do some soul searching. I started going through everything I can. I was like, you know what? Let me consider some of these positions that are being offered to me closer to home better paying nanny jobs.

It was then that I met a mom. She wanted to hire me and she said, “Oh, yeah, my little one is struggling with sleep right now. We just signed off with a sleep consultant. It seemed it didn’t go too well.” I was like, “Well, what’s going on?” She started giving me a little bit of background on what was happening. I was like, “Well, that’s easy. You can do this, this, this and that.”

The thing is, I always was good with kids, but I just didn’t know the terminology to these things. So not to my surprise, everything worked. She was like, “Oh my gosh. You would be so amazing. Can I sign you on full time and just come work for us?” I said yeah, okay. We’ll see. It turns out, I went on Google. I looked up sleep consulting, and I found your podcast.

My husband knows I was morning doing breakfast, dinner, and just listening to your podcast all the time. I think I heard everything in a week. I signed on for your call, your discovery call, together. I didn’t really have much to ask you because I knew that this was the program I wanted to be in. And here I am. I loved everything till now. I have your program to thank for that, to be quite honest.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, I love your story. I love that you’re already a natural at this and just didn’t have maybe the language to use and the formatting in which you can support families. But you’re already sort of doing it in an informal way. And now you have the tools to really do it professionally, which is so amazing.

I love that you said that you were envious of your husband’s journey through entrepreneurship. I think that a lot of people probably can relate to that. We see other people around us — whether it’s our spouse, or our friends, or our siblings — doing these interesting and amazing things. Sometimes we just have to be willing to say yes to ourselves and go for it in our own lives. I always say nobody’s going to give it to you. You have to go out and get it.

Ruth Marquez: Oh, definitely. I can definitely say he was one of my biggest supporters, my cheerleaders, my inspiration to start all of this. Because I saw him doing it in his own life. So he was walking the walk. He wasn’t just saying it. He was doing what he preached to me every day.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, I love that. So the reason this episode came about is because, a couple of weeks ago, you shared a testimonial inside of our Facebook group for CPSM students and grads. It was probably one of the best testimonials I have ever read. I wanted to bring you onto the podcast to share your experience working with this family so that our listeners could get a feel for the work that we do and how sleep consultants like you are out there changing lives and saving lives.

Would you give us a little bit of backstory, whatever you’re comfortable sharing about this family? I’m wondering, how did the mom find you? What were her circumstances that led to her needing support through sleep training?

Ruth Marquez: Yeah, definitely.

First and foremost, this mom, she says, “Ruth, you changed my life.” But honestly, I think she changed my life. She was just, it’s just crazy to me. So the beginning of everything is, I found her on Facebook on a mom’s sleep training group that we were both on.

In desperation, she wrote, “Is there anyone that will take a single mom as a client?” I found that very interesting. Because normally, well, you’re familiar with these Facebook mom groups. They’re not so blunt like that. They’re kind of like, “Oh, my kiddo is going through such and such thing.” But they’re not so blunt like that to say, “Listen, I need help. Is there anyone out there?” I didn’t quite understand why until we got on a call together. She revealed to me that she’s been trying to find help, and nobody wanted to take her on as a client.

That, for me, was just so sad and very disappointing. I said, who in the world would not take you on as a client? We’re here to support moms. And to be quite honest, she shared with me. Obviously, for liability reasons, I cannot share what the company. But she did share with me the company, the sleep training company, that refused her services. It’s quite a big company, so I was very surprised. I’m like, Seriously?

Apart from that, she told me that her kiddo was going through some traumatic experiences because he suffered something in dad’s home. Aside from that, she was just going through a lot in the co-parenting situation. It’s a very particular situation. Her kiddo was one week with her and one week with dad. So a lot of sleep consultants were like, “Yeah, this is not doable. You need consistency. You need this, this and that. This is just unrealistic. This cannot happen.”

From the first moment we got on this call together, I told her, “No, we can do this. There’s no reason why we can’t do this. We can.” She’s like, “Are you serious?” I was like, yeah, why not? She was so grateful. And, of course, when I sent her the sleep plan, she didn’t believe that this could actually happen. I told her this can happen. This is going to be like bootcamp. We need to go all in. We need to do this as gradually and loving as possible.

Because, of course, her kiddo went through a traumatic experience, and we don’t want to regress anything in any sort of way. So yeah, I sent her the sleep plan. It was just amazing to see the transformation that her kiddo took.

And not just that, but the impact that sleep had on mom and her seeing how confident her kiddo got, it’s that confidence was just so magnetic to her. I’m not even lying how difficult some nights were. I would wake up to some messages and mom would be sobbing. Mom would be crying. I would need to coach mom through some days because it was just so hard. This is a single mama that’s doing this all by herself, so I knew I am the only support she has in her life. I need to be there for her 120%. I need to take this seriously.

I always tell this to everyone. I was just saying this to someone the other day. That when I took on this title as a sleep coach, yes, there is a sleep component to it. Your program is great because you set us up for success. So we know everything we need to know for sleep. We were prepared. We know everything we need to do in the roughest situations possible. That’s what your program does for us.

But there’s also the coaching part to it. And a lot of people come into this thinking, okay, I’m going to take on this business, and I’m going to send a sleep plan. I’m going to send a few cute text messages. I am going to get a wonderful review once it’s all done and get my next client.

But the reality of it all is that, as sleep consultants, the best ones that are separated from the average ones, what separates them is the coaching aspect to it. That’s why clients keep coming back to them. Because they put a lot of love and a lot of dedication into the coaching aspect of it. I knew. Once going into this, I knew there was going to have to be a lot of coaching a lot of my time. I don’t mind it because the results just give me so much dopamine. So it was just amazing to see where mom got, where her kiddo is right now, and how just changing a few things can make a huge difference in a whole family’s life.

Jayne Havens: That’s really incredible. It’s really incredible.

Can you talk us through the logistics of working with a mom who had her child with her for one week and then with dad for one week? I think, correct me if I’m wrong, you said that dad wasn’t really on board with implementing any of this in his home, right? So you were really just establishing a new sense of normal in mom’s home.

Did you work together for one week and then take that week break, and then work together for another week? Did you get it done in one week? What did that look like for you?

Ruth Marquez: Yes, so going into this, I knew that we needed to do some prep work prior to starting. So I kind of gave her a list of things to do prior to starting to get him adjusted to the new norm. I told her, okay, you’re going to have to get the be okay to wake clock. He was sleeping on a mattress on the floor, and she was on the floor with him. So the both of them were just not getting really any sleep at night. So I told her he needs a big boy bed.

We need to prep his room. We need to make sure the room is dark. We need to make sure he’s there present when this bed is arriving so when he comes back from dad’s, he’s not scared and like, “What just happened here? This is not my room.” So I gave her a list of prep work, because I knew we’re not going to be able to just launch and start on the day that we start working together. I gave her some prep work.

Then on the day of, I gave her a list. In a sleep plan, I wrote it out like I do with any other client. The difference here is that we broke it up into sections. Week one, she followed with the chair method. It worked amazing. What we did was just every three days, we would pause and see how he was doing, troubleshoot and see if he was going great. And if it did, then we move on to the next step. Honestly, it was only up to probably when she was in the hallway that we needed to extend one more day. But honestly, he did so great.

After the first week, yeah, we needed to pause. But that’s where conversations come into play a lot. I remember seeing you write for someone on the Facebook group. You gave a little tip to put tape on the floor, painter’s tape. So I was like, oh my gosh. That’s amazing. I took that little hack and I told her, “You should put painter’s tape on the floor. It can be a visual thing for him too. So when he comes back from dad’s and even before leaving to dad’s, he can see the tape on the floor and understand, okay, mommy’s going to be sitting there when I come back from dad’s.

So I would always tell her, yes, conversation is great. But we’re going to have to conversate with him even more because he’s going to be in two different households. This kid over being in two different homes, he did so amazingly. Because sadly, in dad’s home, there’s not much structure around sleep. So when he comes back to mom’s, it’s kind of like he’s catching up on all that lost sleep that he didn’t get at dad’s.

So we had to troubleshoot and just a lot of conversations, a lot of conversations with him to help him understand. Okay. So we’re done here. Mom is going to move now a little bit to the door. And he’d be like, Okay. Great. It got to the point where he’s like, mommy, out. Mommy, out, and would close the door on her. So it’s amazing to see how far this little boy has come.

Jayne Havens: I always say that I really do believe that children crave boundaries, and limits, and sleep. And so when children are living in homes that don’t have those boundaries around sleep, I think that they’re so badly craving it. They’re looking for parents to set a really respectful yet firm boundary around sleep, because they need it so badly.

It sounds like that’s exactly what was happening. Because when he was at dad’s, he wasn’t really getting that. Then he was coming home, and he was excited. He was looking forward to having that stability and predictability around sleep at mom’s house. And it sounds like that’s what you gave her, which is amazing.

Ruth Marquez: Yeah, definitely. I think, overall, this helped him a lot too. Because apart from bedtime, he was struggling so much with naptime. So this kid was just really overtired, like drastically overtired. So by the point that he saw this is a good thing, and we created this as a positive thing. Because the thing is, when you go into this with toddlers — I love taking on toddler cases. I prefer them. I love the challenge.

Jayne Havens: Me, too.

Ruth Marquez: I love the challenge. I love it. So as the days were going on and I saw, wow, he’s becoming more and more receptive to this new norm, to this new reality, it’s just crazy to see from where he came to. It’s even crazy. Because, as you know, some toddlers, they love their loveys to sleep at night. It’s kind of like their comfort. It’s great. But he just got to the point where he told his mom he doesn’t want his lovey anymore. Because he’s just so confident and so content in his bed by himself that he doesn’t even need his lovey anymore.

The day mom told me that, I got tears to my eyes. I said, wow, this is amazing that this kid went through so much at such a young age. No kiddo should ever go through what he went through. But the fact that he went through all of that, and he’s in such a healthy headspace now, it’s just so amazing. It’s so remarkable. It shows me that we’re not just sending sleep plans. We’re changing lives here.

Jayne Havens: Yeah, absolutely. I’m wondering if there were times during the process where you fell in over your head at all, or did you always feel like you had the tools and the knowledge to get this mom the results she was looking for?

Ruth Marquez: Yes, so there was a point where I found out that there’s going to be Wednesdays that he had to go to dad’s house. It was a very odd schedule. Let’s say, this week, he’s with mom. Wednesday, he would have to go back to dad’s to sleep at night. So it was at that point I said, oh, boy. I’m going to have to really, really make sure I’m going to support her and also help her out and remind her what we need to change every day.

But as far as confidence and knowing this can get done, I knew that from the beginning once I went into this. My husband knows me. I’ve never really been doubtful of myself when it comes to sleep training or helping a client now. I feel 120% confident with that.

For me, it’s always been the marketing aspect of it. I know nothing about marketing, but I’m getting there. But in regards to sleep, I’m like, I got this. I know how to do this. It’s just about giving them the right support that they deserve. So I knew. I told her. I’m like, we’re going to prove everybody wrong. We’re going to prove everybody wrong and prove all the books wrong, prove everybody wrong that we can do this.

I told her I’ve never heard a case like this. And it’s going to be amazing to share this with my community and show them that there’s going to be more single mamas out there. There’s going to be single dads out there, and they’re going to look for sleep support. And we shouldn’t be scared to take on these cases because they look a little different from what we’re usually used to doing with other families.

Jayne Havens: I know that you’re just getting started in your sleep business. But I always say that when you do a really great job with families, the business comes because your happy clients will share your name with their network of friends. Are you starting to see that happen for yourself yet in your business?

Ruth Marquez: Well, in regards to clients, right now, I’m trying to just get my name known out there. I’m just trying to create connection so people know, oh, Ruth is a sleep consultant. Awesome.

What I do notice is, it’s quite the opposite. It’s quite funny that right now, what I’ve been getting is mostly invitations to come on and speak on people’s Instagram’s. Or, just recently, a daycare reached out to me and asked me to come on for a fall festival if I can be one of the vendors there for free. They’re like, “Please just come on.” I said, wow. Yeah, why not? It’s actually quite funny that I really thought this part of my business would come one or two years into my business, and I would be invited to do all of these things later on.

Right now, I realize I’ve just been asked to come on and speak in regards to sleep. So that’s mostly where I am right now. Obviously, I do want to get to a point where I can have a steady income in regards to my clients. But right now, just a lot of people are just trying to have me come on and speak to their audience, which is wonderful because I love talking.

Jayne Havens: I think that’s amazing that people are noticing you and reaching out to you and wanting to share your wisdom with their communities. I think that that is an amazing, amazing place to start.

Actually, when I was first getting started in my sleep consulting business, I had the opportunity to work with someone who is sort of like a micro influencer, I would call her. I didn’t even ask her to, but she had a pretty big Instagram following. I worked with her to help her sleep train her then seven-month-old baby. I would say that that is really what propelled my career. It was that one person who had a moderately large following on Instagram and literally shared about me every single day, shared the journey, the ups, the downs, the all the rounds.

She was really honest about it. She didn’t sugarcoat it, and people reached out. So I think that if you are having other businesses and other people who want you to come speak to their communities, that’s a really amazing place to be, especially when your business is just a baby. You’re just getting started.

Speaking about business, this podcast is about the business side of sleep consulting. So I have to ask if you have any goals for yourself with regard to your business. As we head towards a new year, do you have any goals for 2024?

Ruth Marquez: Yes, so right now, I’d like to see this as the year of setting the foundation. My husband does home renovations for a living. So he’s always like, “We need to set a foundation in everything in life.” He always gets all TED-talky with me. He’s like, “You need to set the foundation this year.” I knew going into this, my business is not going to go from one day to another. Oh my gosh. Well, coming in, like crazy.

I knew going into this, I needed to do the hard work. So this is the year for me. I just want to go all in, put in all the hard work and get my name out there, and eventually get to I guess where I want to be financially. But right now, lately, an idea was to possibly provide some sort of coaching support for sleep consultants. I realized that there’s a huge gap when it comes to the coaching aspect of sleep consulting.

We are so prepared when it comes to the sleep part of it. But I realized some consultants do need that extra help when it comes to, what do I do if this situation arises? What do I do? How do I talk to this client? How do I manage this particular situation? So it’s just something in my heart that I’m thinking about that I would love to help more sleep consultants better support their parents, better help them in a way that parents deserve, and just give them the tools that they need in order to communicate better, be there for them.

I am a huge believer that you don’t need a license. You don’t need to have gone to school to show love. You can show love to anyone. You don’t need to be a psychologist in order to do that. So I definitely feel like probably a lot of us, we feel a little bit — maybe I can’t give this advice. Maybe I can’t do this because I’m not equipped for this. When the truth is, what this mama really needs is love and someone to listen to her. I think we can all do that. We’re all capable of giving love.

If there’s anything I would love to share today with everyone, you can absolutely provide the best support you can to this mom. She’s feeding off of your energy. She’s feeding off of your confidence. If you guys can do this together and then she sees it, she’s going to know, okay, maybe this is not going to work out. But I think if we came from Jayne’s program, we are all, one, prepared for this sleep consulting journey. And we got this.

Jayne Havens: I think that right there is exactly why. You just articulated perfectly why you are 100% going to be a successful sleep consultant. I always say this. I know that you’re feeling called to teach other sleep consultants to do what you do. But I have to tell you that I’m not entirely convinced it’s teachable. Because I think that it’s in your heart. I think it legitimately comes from your heart and your soul to give your all to your clients and to show up in a way that is fully present, all encompassing, where you’re willing to give everything and anything.

You’re not just there for two weeks to clock in and clock out, but you are there to give your everything to them in a way that will serve them, in a way that is special and unique. I think that people either have that or they don’t. I actually just started with a mom who has a little eight-month-old baby, and he’s having a real hard time.

Their family dynamic is also really tricky and unusual. I think mom is struggling emotionally. I think baby is struggling emotionally. And I’m two or three days in with this mom. I already told her like, “I’m committed to you. I don’t care how long this takes. I’m not here for a two-week consultation. I’m here to get this right with your family.”

It might take months. It might take me bringing in other providers to help her, helping her to find a therapist, helping her to find resources in all sorts of areas of her life. It’s not just about sleep consulting. It’s about caring for families and showing up to help them in whatever way we can possibly help them to change their lives for the better.

I’m sorry. I’m not really sure it’s teachable. You either have that in your heart or you don’t. It’s so clear to me that you do. I think that that is what is ultimately going to lead you to success in your business. So I’m really glad that we crossed paths. I always love having students come my way who have that mindset that you have. I have no doubt that you are going to be a huge success. I think you’re smart to spend the year to lay the foundation and really to put in the hard work on the ground first. I like that your husband gave the analogy of like — what did he call it?

Ruth Marquez: The foundation.

Jayne Havens: The foundation. I love that. Sometimes it’s a physical foundation, and sometimes it’s like an emotional foundation. You’re doing all the right things.

Before we wrap up, why don’t you share your website, your social media, whatever you want to share? I would love for people to check you out.

Ruth Marquez: Sure. So my website is paradoxzzz.com and my Instagram handle, you can find me there. I’m always trying to be as present as possible. It’s @paradoxzzzsleepconsulting. You can find me there if you just need a friend to talk to. My DMs are always open for anyone.

Jayne Havens: Ruth, thank you so much. This was an awesome conversation. I’m really grateful that you were willing to share this case study with our audience and our community. So thank you.

Ruth Marquez: Sure. Thank you for having me.

Outro: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Becoming a Sleep Consultant Podcast. If you enjoyed today’s episode, it would mean so much to me if you would rate, review, and subscribe. When you rate, review, and subscribe, this helps the podcast reach a greater audience. I am so grateful for your support.

If you would like to learn more about how you can become a certified sleep consultant, head over to my Facebook Group, Becoming a Sleep Consultant or to my website thecpsm.com. Thanks so much, and I hope you will tune in for the next episode.