The Flexibility We Work For with Jayne Havens
This week I’m sharing something personal and real. Every summer, my kids look forward to sleepaway camp in the Poconos—it’s their favorite time of year. As they say in the camp world, they live “10 for 2.” But this year, the day before the bus was set to leave, my daughter Ivy got sick.
I talk about what it felt like to watch one child head off to camp while the other had to stay behind—and how heartbreaking that was for both of us. But I also share the unexpected gratitude I felt in the middle of it all: the ability to just be there for her without taking time off or asking permission.
Because of my work as a sleep consultant, I could care for Ivy while still supporting my clients. It wasn’t easy, but it was possible—and that flexibility is something I don’t take for granted.
If you’ve ever wondered what “freedom” really looks like when you run your own business, this episode is for you. It’s about the messy, real-life moments that remind us why we chose this path in the first place.
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Transcript:
Intro: Welcome to Becoming a Sleep Consultant! I’m your host Jayne Havens, a certified sleep consultant and founder of both Snooze Fest by Jayne Havens and Center for Pediatric Sleep Management.
On this podcast, I’ll be discussing the business side of sleep consulting. You’ll have an insider’s view on launching, growing, and even scaling a sleep consulting business. This is not a podcast about sleep training. This is a podcast about business building and entrepreneurship.
Jayne Havens: Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. Today I want to talk about something personal that’s been unfolding over here for the past week. It’s one of those moments that didn’t go the way that I wanted to, but it offered a big, if slightly painful, reminder of why I’m so grateful for this work that I do.
If you know me, you know how much our family looks forward to summer camp. My kids go to sleepaway camp in the Poconos every year for seven weeks. It’s not just something they enjoy; it’s something they count down to all year long. There’s a saying they use in the camp world: “We live 10 for 2″—10 months of waiting for those 2 months of pure freedom, fun, independence, and friendships. It’s honestly one of the greatest gifts I feel like I can give them.
The lead-up is always such a big production in our house: packing, labeling every single item of clothing, rolling up their comforters, picking out which stationery they’ll write home with. The excitement is electric. My basement is a disaster.
This year was no different. But then, literally, the day before the bus was scheduled to pick the kids up, things took a turn. Ivy told me her throat hurt. Now, she had just finished antibiotics for strep. So part of me thought, “Okay. Maybe it’s not fully cleared up. Then we’ll just get her a new prescription, get her feeling better, and send her on her way.” But as you can probably guess, it wasn’t that simple. She got even sicker: a miserable sore throat, a high fever—she was just feeling terrible. It became very clear very quickly that this wasn’t going to be an overnight fix.
And so Saturday morning came, the big send-off day, the day they had been waiting for. I packed, sit up, I gave him a big hug and a kiss in the kitchen, and Jonathan drove him to the bus stop. I stayed back home with Ivy—sad for her, sad for me, and also just praying that she would get better soon. Knowing that bus pulled away with only one of my kids on it, I can’t lie, that was really hard. I think a lot of parents know that feeling: the ache of seeing one child’s disappointment while wanting the other child to have their moment. Ivy was devastated, and I was too.
But here’s the thing: as much as I wish I could have changed that outcome for her, I also realized almost immediately how grateful I am for the work that I do. Because I didn’t have to call my boss to explain that I wouldn’t be coming into the office. I didn’t have to apologize for needing time off. I didn’t have to rearrange my entire life to care for her. I was just able to do it. I sat on the couch with her while she dozed off watching her favorite show. I held her hand when she felt crummy and sad. I checked her temperature a dozen times a day. I fetched popsicles for her like it was nobody’s business.
At the same time, I didn’t have to stop supporting my clients. I could still check messages between doses of Motrin. I could write sleep plans in the evening after she fell asleep. I could work from my kitchen table while she rested on the couch. It wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t pretty. But it worked. That’s the silver lining I’ve been holding onto this entire week.
So often, when people talk about starting their own businesses—especially something like sleep consulting—they think about the freedom in this big dramatic sense: the idea of working less, taking vacations, doing things your way. But the real freedom in my experience is in these small, deeply personal moments. It’s knowing that when your kid needs you, like really needs you, you can be there for —without asking permission, without having any sort of guilt. That’s the kind of flexibility that doesn’t show up on your calendar or in your bank account, but it is the most valuable thing.
The other thing that I’ve been thinking about: when Ivy’s better—and I know she’ll get better—Jonathan and I will take her up to camp. We’ll drive up to the Poconos. We’ll stop for snacks along the way. We’ll listen to music, we’ll talk, and her friends will be waiting at the camp’s gate to welcome her with open arms. She’ll still get her summer just on a slightly different timeline.
So today I wanted to share this partially because it’s been what’s on my mind, and partially because I know that so many of you listening are either sleep consultants already or thinking about becoming one. And if you’re thinking about becoming one, I want you to understand why this kind of work matters. This is why: it’s not just about writing sleep plans and troubleshooting maps. It’s about building a life that lets you show up around your own family the way that you want to. It’s about being able to turn on a dime when things go sideways. Because, let’s be real, they always do at some point. It’s about working with families while caring for your own.
I know it’s not always easy. I’m not going to pretend that this week has been smooth or fun because it hasn’t been. But it’s reminded me of why I’m so grateful that I chose this path. So if you’re out there wondering if it’s worth it to take the leap, to try something different, to build something for yourself, this is my gentle nudge that, yes, it can absolutely be worth it.
Thanks for listening, for letting me share something a little raw and a little real today. And here’s hoping that, by the time you listen to this episode, Ivy is feeling 100% and we’ve dropped her off at camp. Take care, everyone.
Outro: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Becoming a Sleep Consultant Podcast. If you enjoyed today’s episode, it would mean so much to me if you would rate, review, and subscribe. When you rate, review, and subscribe, this helps the podcast reach a greater audience. I am so grateful for your support.
If you would like to learn more about how you can become a certified sleep consultant, head over to my Facebook Group, Becoming a Sleep Consultant or to my website thecpsm.com. Thanks so much, and I hope you will tune in for the next episode.